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I get bullied by an obese woman at work


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I am a very educated and intelligent and hard working woman in biotech company now. I am very fit and healthy and attractive and polite and mild mannered and well liked. I am a single mother too.


My dilemma is that the lab assistant is an obese woman who is like 400 lbs maybe, I was polite to her. yet she was always super hostile to me and yell at me and critiize everything I do and send me and my supervisor all these criticizing emails about me while other people doing exactly the same thing and not get the same reaction from her.


I know people always talk about body positive and how over weight people are abused at work.


Yet in my case , it is always the opposite,


In my previous work place, a woman who was out of shape did the same thing to me and even told me that she was envious of how I was fit.


I am very confused .


People should not let out all these anger on another human being and put another woman down for personal reasons as such.


I never did any thing to them or talk bad about them.


They should not let out their own frustration of themselves on me,


It hurts my career and affect my work environment . It makes it so unpleasant and a hostile work environment.


I do not really understand what did I do to offend them to deserve being bullied as such.



It is so confusing.


My mangers are not helpful either, they feel like I must did something wrong for this over weight woman to target me as such, my managers can not see why for no reason she just bullies me.


I learned to be avoiding her and being silent, but I am not sure if this will solve any problem for the future.


She creepily watches me every day and stares at me, it is so creepy.


Please help, I want to keep my sanity and do a good job and support my kids and I do not want to be affected or mistreated by this woman.


Once I reached out to an empower work support line, I got criticized that I mentioned this woman 's weight and being judgmental.


In reality, no one cares how she looks, it is the heart that matters , she is just so aggressive toward me and becomes a little terrorizing, if this continues, I will have to sue the company or file a case in EEOC because my mangers are silent and ask me to bear with it or ignore her.


Thanks for any suggestions.


No haters please .






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Ok ima be honest im pretty sure she is jealous but this coming from a 13-year-old so don't take my word for it but trust me. Like you said you are well fitted and you are attractive and women who are the opposite despise you for it and you are right they shouldn't take it out on you and one way i learned it to just not let it get just go with it for example when someone says you ugly say thank you or i know you know. But i don't know much because i am young but that's what people think i may have the body of a 13-year-old but i have a strong mature mindset

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Hey @pekingjennifer971


Welcome to our support community, I'm one of the digital support mentors here.


I'm sorry to hear about what's currently happening for you at work. We all deserve to be feel comfortable at work, and I can imagine that this situation is quite unsettling for you, especially as management won't act. I'm wondering, have you spoken to the person about why they are doing this? It might be useful to get their insight. If you do, it could help to have a mediator present.




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Actually I am not doing my work and ignoring her.


There is this new guy in our group, he figured out already that he will not be complained about , it was only me as the target.


So now the young new guy purposefully doing things that I will be immediately criticized such as not wearing safety goggles , coming after shift time, not buttoning his lab coat, actually he is right, the women never criticized him!!!!




It is so weird.

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Hey @pekingjennifer971


It's definitely good to ignore it and see if that helps; if she knows you're getting annoyed, then that might make her do it more. Out of curiosity, why do you think she treats you this way?


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