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How to come out?


Sophie Elisabeth    

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Hi there, I am fairly sure that I am bi sexual. I really want to tell my friends and family, but I don't know how and I am also a bit scared that when I come out it later turns out that I am straight(or another sexuality) after all. Do you have any tips on coming out?

Sophie Elisabeth

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Hey @Sophie Elisabeth

 

I'm one of the digital support mentors here at Ditch the Label - welcome to our community :cool:

 

Have you seen our article on coming out? You might find it useful - here it is: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/top-11-tips-for-coming-out-as-lesbian-gay-or-bi/. FYI, some people find it easier to tell people on a message rather than face-to-face, so this might be something to think about.

 

I can completely get why you're scared; coming out can be tricky, and if you then decide later that you actually identify with another label, then this can be frustrating. I think that it's good to wait until you're absolutely sure of your sexuality before you come out. Just remember that if you don't feel ready, then you don't have to come out. There really is no rush :).

 

What do you think?

Edited by Monsoon

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Hi @Sophie Elisabeth

My biggest advice when wanting to come out is: only come out if it's safe and you trust the people you're telling,

 

With that said, here are a few ways you could come out:

- Text: you could text the person/people you want to come out to.

- Letter/note: you could leave a note for your parents to find. Maybe go out for a walk whilst they read it so you don't have to be there when they read it.

- Meet up and chat: you could go on a walk with whoever you want to tell, bring up the topic in conversation and see how it floats. If you feel confident, go for it!

- In the car: if you want to tell your family, maybe on a car journey, bring up the topic and if you feel confident, go for it. The car is a nice enclosed space where your parent(s) are driving, focussing on the road, so it can be a good place for discussion.

- Phone/video call: similar to text, you don't have to be there in person, so maybe it'll be less scary.

- At dinner: bring up the topic, come out if you feel confident.

 

There's multiple ways of doing it. I came out to my mom by accident, and then I chatted to her about it on a walk. I came out to my dad on Twitter, I posted to an LGBT hashtag and he saw the post and then rang me about it. You can also wait to come out if you want to. Sexuality is a complex thing and it takes time to work yourself out. I'm nearly 20 and I still haven't quite worked it out. It's okay to keep it to yourself and tell nobody until you know for sure. If you don't feel ready, that's totally fine.

 

I hope this helps :)

 

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Hi @Sophie Elisabeth

My biggest advice when wanting to come out is: only come out if it's safe and you trust the people you're telling,

 

With that said, here are a few ways you could come out:

- Text: you could text the person/people you want to come out to.

- Letter/note: you could leave a note for your parents to find. Maybe go out for a walk whilst they read it so you don't have to be there when they read it.

- Meet up and chat: you could go on a walk with whoever you want to tell, bring up the topic in conversation and see how it floats. If you feel confident, go for it!

- In the car: if you want to tell your family, maybe on a car journey, bring up the topic and if you feel confident, go for it. The car is a nice enclosed space where your parent(s) are driving, focussing on the road, so it can be a good place for discussion.

- Phone/video call: similar to text, you don't have to be there in person, so maybe it'll be less scary.

- At dinner: bring up the topic, come out if you feel confident.

 

There's multiple ways of doing it. I came out to my mom by accident, and then I chatted to her about it on a walk. I came out to my dad on Twitter, I posted to an LGBT hashtag and he saw the post and then rang me about it. You can also wait to come out if you want to. Sexuality is a complex thing and it takes time to work yourself out. I'm nearly 20 and I still haven't quite worked it out. It's okay to keep it to yourself and tell nobody until you know for sure. If you don't feel ready, that's totally fine.

 

I hope this helps :)

great advice, thank you, Marv :)

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