I kissed my best friend and now I'm confused help

[smila]

i thought i was bi like three years ago and decided i wasn't like 2 months later, attributing it to my sister and lots of my friends having come out as smt or other and "just wanting to be more interesting" (awful, ik)

 

anyways fast forward to now i and my best friend is openly queer (she's a girl, im a girl) and I've never really been attracted to her per se but i have definitely thought she looks stunning/fit/hot/the whole shebang

 

so we got drunk sitting on a wall by the river and we kissed and it was my first kiss in a hot minute (like 2 yrs, yikes) and it was so much better than any other kiss id ever had. that was like four days ago and i can't stop thinking about the kiss

 

i don't want to date her but ik i want to kiss her again, like a LOT

 

what does this mean?? i am as a rule attracted to boys but im defo conscious of girls' beauty but also that could just be body envy idek...

 

am i still straight if i'm spending every other minute thinking act kissing my best friend? am i fully bi or just curious? pls someone tell me what im feeling, i can't deal lol

[Monsoon]

Hey @smila

 

Welcome to our community and thank you for coming to us for support

 

I think it's interesting that you say this kiss was better than any other you've ever had - why do you think that is/what was different? I think it's so hard to know what label fits you right now as it sounds like you're at the beginning of this new journey. My best piece of advice at this point would be to explore this side some more because this will help you to understand this curiosity. As time goes on and you explore more, you'll be able to get to grips with your sexuality more. What do you think?

Edited September 22, 2020 by Monsoon