PRL13 Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 Hello guys! I am in desperate need, unfortunately. The second semester of college has just finished, and I am finally in summer break. This means I have plenty of time to go to the beach, bars, do trails, hangout, etc. However, I do not have anyone to go out with. I mean, I have friends and colleagues, but they all have their own friends groups, which I am not part of. Since they have their groups, they never invite me because I do not know the rest of the people. I am the only one who does not have a group of friends and this is letting me depressed. For example, I would like to go to the beach, but I do not have anyone to go with. To complicate things, I live too far away from the city (in the camp) and from my friends... Also, neither I nor my parents own a car. Basically, I am going to be alone this summer because I do not have too many friends to ask to go out... I am so scared of being alone forever... I try to make so many friends, but they always go away, and they prefer to go out and make plans with other people... Will I ever find any really good friend? I promise you that I am a good friend. I always forgive my friends because I am afraid of losing them... Why they never ask me out? The fact that it is hard to make new friends after college freaks me out because I only have one more year until I finish my degree. Thank you guys for reading what I have written. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 4, 2020 Share Posted July 4, 2020 Hey PRL. Thanks for coming to us for support Sorry to hear about this - it sounds like it's been really hard for you. I think at one time or another, we have all felt like we haven't had that many friends which can make us feel insecure. Then, when we feel insecure, this can make us analyse every little thing and think that we are the problem. However, nine times out of ten, we are probably overthinking it. I'm sure you will find a really good friend, and you might even already have one. Why don't you ask them if they want to hang out? I know it upsets you that they have other friendship groups, but I guess this is pretty standard. You might become part of the group if you start asking them more. You could try striking up a conversation with them too. This might help to build the friendship and get things going! Also, could you maybe get public transport to the city or ask them to come to you? The truth is, someone people are quite shy and reserved, especially with new friends which means that they will often wait for the other person to make the first move e.g. asking to hang out. What do you think about all of this? Hope to hear from you soon! - Monsoon MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlover455 Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 Wow, funny that I found this... I feel the EXACT same way. Same with the other friend groups, the far distance... My friends are always hanging out with their friends that I'm not friends with, and I never get invited to anything. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 Hey @Carlover455 , Sorry to hear that you're going through the same situation as @PRL13 . I know what it's like to feel left out, and tbh, it really sucks. Did you find any of the advice that I gave to PRL in my post helpful? As I said, when we feel this way, it can sometimes be that the person we want to hang out with more is actually just waiting for you to reach out and invite them to something. I guess that someone has got to go first, and it might have to be you that makes the first move. What do you reckon? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PRL13 Posted August 10, 2020 Author Share Posted August 10, 2020 Hello @Monsoon ! Thank you so much for your answer. Unfortunately, things are not good yet. However, I have looked for help (therapy), and I'm talking more with 2 friends about what I'm feeling. I have been going out more lately as well, even though I feel lonely because the people I go out with don't have the same interests as me. I have started doing meditation, seeing some TED Talks, and I have been knowing myself better in order to grow and become a better person. I need a lot of faith! I'm always thinking about my future (afraid of being lonely), and about my relationships (I don't want to disappoint my loved ones). I have also been experiencing some suicidal thoughts, but I think I have the strength to overcome what I'm feeling. I don't have any difficulties talking with people. I love talking with people, and I love to surrounded by people. I have just acknowledged that I don't have the right people in my life. I don't have too many friends, and the ones I have don't have the same interests as me. I just want this to pass, for real. I can't stand the pain in my chest every time I woke up, and during the day. I would just like to have some kind of signal to tell me that everything will be okay. Thank you, one more time, for being there. Really appreciate! @Carlover455 I hope you are doing okay! Let's have some faith! Let's believe in the plans that life has for us! Please, tell me if you are okay or not. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 (edited) Hey @PRL13 Thanks for getting back to us. We sent an email to the account you signed up with to check in on you, did you get it? I wanted to check if you're safe or not after what you said about suicidal thoughts. If you can, please reply to the email that we sent to you as once we know you're safe, we can then help you to move forward. If you can't see the email, i just want to tell you again that although you feel this way at the moment, just remember that feelings can change and this feeling may pass. We are here for you and you are not alone . We support Monday - Friday, 9am - 5.30pm (BST) via our community https://www.ditchthelabel.org/community/ and there are more options below: UK: The Samaritans - 116 123 (This is a 24/7 service)USA: NSPL - 1-800-273-8255 (This is a 24/7 service)This link will give you a list of all crisis lines worldwide: https://www.befrienders.orgThere's an app I can recommend called Stay Alive https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/f...tay-alive-app/ - it has safety plans to keep you safe and loads of other informationYou can also call your doctor or go to any emergency department and ask for help When you get this/see the email, it would be good if you could get back to us and just let us know that you're safe. Once we know this, we can support you more with what's going on. Take care and stay safe, -Monsoon Edited August 13, 2020 by Monsoon MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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