Am I too clingy? Do they actually care about me?

[wishbo]

I have been homeschooled nearly my entire life. I have never had a friend that I have hung out with besides my local soccer team and I have never been invited over for a birthday party or just to hang out with anybody. In 2019, I started going to my town's public highschool. I joined a club that my siblings were in and I was generally adopted as the baby of the group. I found people I consider to be my friends (mostly senior boys who took me under their guidance), and I genuinely think they're good people. They make me smile a lot. But because quarantine has started and they're all seniors, we haven't really been communicating much and I struggle to hold conversations with them, especially one of my friends, who I'll call C. C will message me sometimes (after I expressed that I need him to because I feel exhausted being the only one to reach out and I was afraid we wouldn't be friends after he left. He assured me this was not the case, and now messages me at least once a week.) But after he says the obligatory, "what's up" I'm the only one who asks questions and tries to continue the conversation, unless I tell him that I feel really terrible. Then he asks me if I'm okay. and he's a good person, I know he is, but I'm still super lonely. I question everything I send him, wondering if it's funny enough or if it'll keep his interest. I know he can't be expected to feel that close to me because of our age difference and I'm probably extremely socially awkward towards him, but I still feel horrible and I just want friends. Should I even message him anymore or just let it go? Because I feel like he considers messaging me a burden and that he's just doing it out of some kind of pity. Idk, I just am really sick of it and I kind of just want to sleep forever.

[Monsoon]

Hey WISHBO,

 

Thanks for reaching out to us I'm glad to hear you started to make friends once you joined your local school - that's really great. I think that a lot of people are feeling lonely right now because of the situation which is perfectly normal. As we all have more time with our thoughts, it can mean that we start to overthink things which might be why you feel like he thinks you're a burden. Be kind to yourself . You're worthy of friends and you are not a burden.

 

I wonder, could you maybe reach out to other people you know and see how it goes with them? It might be worth taking some time away from messaging the guy as it seems to be stressing you out a bit. What do you think of this?

 

Also, to take your mind off things, is there something you can do to really distract yourself, like a game or exercise? It's good to keep occupied when we are feeling down

 

Hang in there!

 

- Monsoon

 

Edited May 1, 2020 by Monsoon