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here we go again (from the top)


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eeeeeeeee ok so i know i want flat chest, not sure about T but tbh y not, uhhhhh i remember getting upset that i couldn't go around the house shirtless anymore cuz girls don't do that anddd i realized i may have confused attraction for envy like i used to see this chic with ******* like wow i wanna be her and a guy with muscles and a beard like i wanna marry a guy like him but not i'm over here staring at guys' flat chests like "can i has?" and i've accepted that i ain't cis like it's wutever uhhhhh i'm asexual fun fact and idk if that has anything to do with me being fine not having a ****** just sayin and welll once in the sims and i made a dude rhat was supposed to be my characters boyfriend and i spent like an hour making him and he was adorable and i just realized i could have made my transition goals, oh also in 8th grade i would randomly watch transition timelines cuz y not also i might still be attracted to guys idk i like to think of myself as a pan romantic but wutever uhhhhhhh lets talk about wut happened today

so i have a short hair cut rn and i got called my birth name a lot today cuz we were like having a whole ass family reunion or something and uhhh there was this child i'm supposed to be related and she, in front of this other person called me "he" and like i got a wave of nervousness and i was like wtf then i realized i was low key kinda scared the other person was gonna 'correct' her or something also i has to call myself a chic a lot to day cuz we were talking bout piercing when ur older and like how ur skin gets saggy and such and i was like imagining myself as like a badass looking old GUY and yeah also we was talking bout me never speakin to my fam again cuz most of them transphobes and they were all like "Y U LEAVIN USSSS" and i was just like uhhhhhhhhh idk but yeah......... not sure wut else to say except me mum won't lemme cut my hair again and it's ********* me off now imma go continue to scroll through reddit lookin at trans memes to somehow validate myself bbbyyeeeee

Edited by Monsoon
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heck forgot to say i'm in no need of gender diagnosis or something idk but then again y would i write this idk just uhuuuuhhhhg i'm existing and it's fine i don't need a define myself to no one

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Thanks for coming to us and sharing your story. So many other people experience the same problems when it comes to questioning their gender identity and transitioning, so please know that you're not alone :)


How has it been for you going through this journey? I know it can be hard for people. We are here to support you whenever you need us. As time goes on, this journey gets easier for people and they understand who they are more the older they get. You just have to trust the process and follow your instincts with this kind of thing.


I think that maybe you wrote this to just vent a little bit really which is good for our mental health. You're absolutely right in saying that you don't need to define yourself to anyone as well :)


- Monsoon




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