Mo Posted April 9, 2020 Share Posted April 9, 2020 Hey! So I’ve recently been seeing this guy, we met through Friends of friend After that he became a regular in my DM’s and we met up a few times and I have been over to his loads now for dinner and films etc, from the get go he has been a real lovely, kind guy. we have been chatting for weeks as he is away in the week for work and on the weekends he would make a effort to see him and we both juggled our lives to see each other the limited time we get together. recently I asked the “what are we question� and it was clear he’s not one for labels but was happy to say we were “dating� until he was more settled which I was happy with as I don’t want to rush into anything. Everything since has been as normal. However roughly a week ago I was over his I had stayed the night and the next day with him when I was; in a roundabout way, asked to leave (was polite and didn’t come across rude at all was just surprised as it was late evening and thought we were set for another night together) from then I feel something has changed (have only spoke over text) not once have I been asked about how I am or what I’m up to for the day etc and when sending selfies (seems to be a thing we do 😂) he hasn’t replied to any of them at all. The whole chat seems to just be surrounding him and what he’s doing! which is okay but it’s nice to feel someone cares about how you are and is interested in what your doing! I have made comments about making plans and they have all been brushed off or ignored and the topic changed. Until this point we had been making plans, chatting and flirting and i felt he honestly cared for me and gave a s**t about what I was doing with my life etc but this week I don’t feel any of that. Our chat is like he’s talking to any of of his mates and I’m just someone to talk to cause he’s bored. I have mentioned to him about feeling low and not myself and his reply turned it round to himself and how he copes with feeling like that. (Not really the response I was after but 🤷��♀�) I will be first to admit I have always quite insecure about relationship s as my previous one ended in being ghosted and I was clearly someone to sleep with until he moved on (do not recommend this for building self confidence and self esteem!!) I have got myself to a place of feeling like a proper strong gal who’s not standing for anyone’s crap! My family and friends have all been shocked I have even given this guy the time of day as I’m really not one to bother for fear of getting hurt and wasting my time if I’m being honest! It was all going so well and felt it could actually turn into something lush! Until this week 🤦��♀� Do I call him out on itnow (would have to be over text) Wait to see him in person to see if he’s off with me in person? Or just stop worrying and ruining it being it’s even really begun! Any advice would be really appreciated ! Feel free to highlight if I’m just overthinking a change in tone over text cause it’s highly likely! Big love ♥� MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted April 9, 2020 Share Posted April 9, 2020 Hey Mo. Thanks for coming to Community for support. We are here to help From the information you've provided, it definitely sounds like there has been a change in the dynamic. He sounds like he is treating you in a completely different way. I can see that this is on your mind a lot. Due to this, I think it might be useful for you to tell him how you feel. This could open the discussion about where you two are currently at and if he feels the same way or not. Honesty is so important in any relationship, and you need the security of knowing that he is fully invested in this. How does this advice sound? Let me know what you think. If you don't find it helpful, we can figure out another way to support you. Speak soon - Monsoon MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mo Posted April 10, 2020 Author Share Posted April 10, 2020 Hey! thank for getting back to me and confirming what I already thought I needed to do! My only issue is I already felt pushy asking where we were at and I feel asking again I’ll come across pushy - but I guess if he can’t give me a awnser to make me feel secure and he’s not a fan of the whole relationship talk then he’s not what I’m after anyways! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 Hey Mo. Thanks for getting back to us so quickly. I get why you feel pushy and why you might want to avoid this, but I think you need answers more than worrying about being pushy. I hope the conversation goes the way you want it too. Do keep up updated. We are always here for you Speak soon and take care. - Monsoon MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mo Posted October 15, 2022 Author Share Posted October 15, 2022 Hey. 2 years later and I laugh reading this back! Nothing less than a week after posting for advice on this he chucked me head first into the friendzone and showed his true colours! But taught me to trust my gut instinct cause I knew something wasn’t right all along! Big thanks for your help, still working on being direct and just asking directly what is going on but hey no hard feelings towards him and life moves on!! Thanks again :) MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 Hey, Sorry to hear that, but I'm gad you're being able to trust your gut more. Good luck with everything :) MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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