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Who am I?

Call me V    

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I’m gonna be straightforward. Let’s start at the beginning.

Ever since a young age, I wasn’t afraid of my femininity. Sure, I felt inferior a lot of times, especially growing up and comparing myself to other girls, but I don’t consciously remember having a problem until around age 15. I had always been an extremely “girly� girl. Maybe I did a few things a tomboy might do, but I wasn’t showing stereotypical signs of being a trans male or being a lesbian. At age 14, I came out as a lesbian. I was so certain that I only liked girls. It was around this time too that I started recalling old memories of being sexually abused as a child. Eventually, I fit myself comfortably in the shoes of a teenage boy, and started convincing myself that I had never really wanted to be a girl or do “girlish� things. Now, I am out to my family as gay, using male pronouns, and going by a different name than I was originally given. For the past year, I’ve convinced myself that I want to start hormone therapy, and eventually go through top surgery as well. Some days, I’ve learned to become ok with my biologically female genitalia - only because I am comfortable around my partner, and quite honestly, I like the way things feel down there. Other days, I’m utterly disgusted by looking at or touching myself, as well as knowing that I don’t have a penis. Sometimes I catch myself scrolling through a girl’s Instagram or watching something on Netflix, and I feel compelled to throw out my baggy men’s jeans and instead accentuate and flaunt my feminine body that I try to hide so often. So here goes: am I a man, or am I meant to be a laid back, boyish woman?

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Hey V.


Thanks for coming to us for support. We are here for you at Community.


I have sent you a private email to the address you signed up with to support you further. This is in light of you disclosing abuse as a child and us wanting to ensure your safety. Please check your junk email and respond as quickly as possible.


Stay safe and speak soon,




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