are you having trouble with your family or friends

[chicknpeaqueen]

hi I would really like to know because I can help you, because I have had trouble with friends and family in the past so I know how it feels. I would love to help you all get through these tough times.

I'm always here Sydney

[sweetie]

Hi. I'm African (i know Africa is a continent I just don't want to be specific about where in *Africa)

*West Africa tho. that's all I can say

 

I'm not really sure if this is the same situation but I'm willing to try and find out.

 

So the things is my parents are really hard on me because they want me to be the best I can be.(I get that).

 

Like I truly appreciate them for the proper education they have given me but now I feel miserable.

 

Every now and then when they ask me why i'm not putting my all, and the truth is I have given up. Because when I give it my all they don't really appreciate it as much as I thought they would and that's because they sometimes compare me to others.(I feel like that's a normal thing for Africans parents)

 

So now I have just been feeling really down and have that impression that I'm never going to be smart enough to make them proud.

 

How do i go about this situation? (if any grammar mistakes were made, pls kindly ignore them*my bad though*)

[chicknpeaqueen]

if you don't think your smart enough for your anyone your wrong, because you are even if they don't tell you that. everyone is smart so the advice i will give you is just don't be so hard on yourself because if you don't believe in yourself you will never succeed. when i was in year 6 doing SATs which are the tests i needed to do before i started secondary school. i gave myself a hard time because i had only passed one test, and i felt like i let my dad down. the things to get through are just showing them your actual self, it doesn't matter about what anyone else thinks because what you do and how you do it makes the best version of yourself you will ever be.

[Monsoon]

Hey 'Sweetie'. It's great to hear from you again

 

I’m sorry to hear about how you’re feeling at the moment; it must be hard for you right now. I can imagine that you feel quite pressured into doing well, and I think it's easy to see why you feel demotivated by the way they react to you putting all your effort in and when they compare you to others. The thing is, motivation is quite sensitive. If we are being pressured into doing something and we feel like we aren't being genuinely praised for our rewards, this can make us feel like we don't want to carry on with it. Also, if the focus is on the negatives and not the positives, this can also make us feel less motivated.

 

I think an important thing to keep in mind is that your parents are putting the pressure on because they want the best for you, however, it sounds like they could be more sensitive about it. If it continues to happen, it might help to just remember this and keep the focus on that they just want you to succeed. However, I think that one of the best things to do here would be to talk to them about how you feel as it might continue to wear you down by trying to remember that they just want the best for you. They probably don't know how you feel when they treat you like this, and I guess it will carry on if they aren't told. This might feel uncomfortable for you, but it really could help the situation.

 

Let me know what you think of these suggestions. If they aren't helpful, we can definitely come up with something else.

 

Speak soon,

Monsoon

 

[Monsoon]

if you don't think your smart enough for your anyone your wrong, because you are even if they don't tell you that. everyone is smart so the advice i will give you is just don't be so hard on yourself because if you don't believe in yourself you will never succeed. when i was in year 6 doing SATs which are the tests i needed to do before i started secondary school. i gave myself a hard time because i had only passed one test, and i felt like i let my dad down. the things to get through are just showing them your actual self, it doesn't matter about what anyone else thinks because what you do and how you do it makes the best version of yourself you will ever be.

This is great advice for 'Sweetie' - thanks!

[sweetie]

I actually get discouraged to do better in school because i felt it wasn't for me but after a lot of thinking i still want to go through it.(to one day graduate from Uni)

 

But I always admired Youtubers and Influencers because some are succesful for putting the right impact on people or entertaining people. Everytime I tell my siblings about it how I fell I say it in a non-serious manner because I know they will just joke about it(and they do). But I just tell myself that it's okay and they probably just don't understand because we have different types of friend groups and stuff.

 

I'm still going to go through with that Youtube idea because I've been wanting to be one for a long time and I asked a few of my mates about it and they said i should go ahead.(that really made me happy)

 

I still face problems with my academics and I'm willing to talk to my parents but I need to gain confidence for a while so that they would be able to reason with me because they are quite strict.

 

Thank you so much for both of your helps. I really do appreciate it!

[Monsoon]

Hello again

 

I think it's a really good of you to go through school even though you feel like it isn't for you. That shows that you're able to really put up with things and you can see ahead as to why it's important. The YouTube idea sounds really great. It's so important to do something that you enjoy. If you want to do it and you're serious about it, then that's all that matters.

 

With your parents, maybe you could write them a letter about how you're feeling? People who don't feel confident enough to do this face-to-face find a letter easier.

 

Keep in touch and let us know how it all goes!

-Monsoon

 

 

 

 

[sweetie]

Hi!

I took the advice. Well I only talked to my mom about it but it still really helped a lot.

Turns out I got it from her and we sort of went through the same thing but the only difference was she didn't have a choice.

 

Anyways we realized that the whole studying and school things weren't just for us but we still had to go through it because they are still important.

I told her about my ideas (mostly about Youtube) and she likes the idea and so does her side of the family, which really gave me a confidence boost.

 

There's so much more to that but in general I'm glad i found this website to discuss about things because it really helps!!

 

Thank you all so much!

[Monsoon]

Hey Sweetie,

 

I'm glad that speaking to your mum helped and it's good that she went through the same thing as she'll be able to use her wisdom to help you out

 

We are always here if you need more support. Take care.

 

-Monsoon