cynical Posted August 8, 2017 Share Posted August 8, 2017 So I'm a 19 year old girl. I have a female body and I've always been comfortable with it. But I just don't feel right. I've been researching for a while and I really do think that being a male would be best for me but I also think that it could be detrimental. I think it's who I am but it feels like a decision and isn't being trans just who you are? Why does it feel like I've got a choice to make? I feel like I know I should be a guy. But there are all these obsticals in the way making me think that surely if I were these would seem more like stepping stones. I just don't know what to do. My boyfriend knows that I've felt this way for a long time and has been nothing but supportive. But if I decided I was then that'd force him to come out to his family and how can I force that on someone else? It just feels like I'm trying to add drama to my life when it is really unnecessary but I just want someone to either tell me I'm being an idiot and this feeling will pass, or that this is how they felt too? I'm just stuck MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cynical Posted August 8, 2017 Author Share Posted August 8, 2017 I'm also uncomfortable using the term genderqueer for myself and while I appreciate it is something others identify as I don't feel like it fits me. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louise19 Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 Hey Cynical, I have no experience with this stuff but i do know what it's like to feel totally confused and massively worried about making wrong choices. You are not alone. Is there anyone in your life your trust enough to talk it through with or do you just come back to the same place of not knowing? I don't think for one second you are being an idiot and actually think your really brave for being honest with how you feel, it's not easy ever. Maybe for now it is just a case of being in this place of not knowing and thats ok, if you keep talking about it and keep asking questions it might overtime get clearer. Sorry if thats rubbish advice or not helpful, but wanted you to know i read your post and feeling stuck sucks. Peace ?? Louise MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spacemonkey Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Cynical- You don't have to put a label on yourself if you don't want to. Not everyone fits into one category. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peach311 Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 Hey Cynical, Big welcome to Community. ? Great advice guys. I think the most important thing is to let go of any fear of what it will mean for your boyfriend and focus on what's right for you. That extra pressure will only be making harder not easier to figure this out. I think big questions about gender identity are confusing as hell and none of its obvious or easy and no two journeys are identical. For you it feels like a choice and that is ok even if for someone else it doesn't. What matters is something doesn't feel right otherwise you wouldn't have taken the time to share with us on here. You owe it to yourself to see where this goes, I have no doubt some part of your identity wants your attention and you are in no way being an idiot or looking for drama by following your intuition. Have you done much research into being trans and other peoples experiences? I think it would really help if you haven't. I could recommend some resources if that would be helpful? Another option would be seeing a counsellor that specializes in gender identity as they are professionals equipped with knowledge and experience to help guide you through. Whatever you decide to do, please know you are not alone in feeling like this and you are doing the best and bravest thing by reaching out for help. ?? Let me know what you think. Sending love and support. ?'?? -peach311 MultiQuote Quote This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cynical Posted May 4, 2022 Author Share Posted May 4, 2022 On 8/8/2017 at 11:31 PM, cynical said: I'm also uncomfortable using the term genderqueer for myself and while I appreciate it is something others identify as I don't feel like it fits me. Update: I now use genderqueer/nonbinary labels and finally found myself. Thank you for all the support I found here. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted May 5, 2022 Share Posted May 5, 2022 8 hours ago, cynical said: Update: I now use genderqueer/nonbinary labels and finally found myself. Thank you for all the support I found here. That's okay and it's lovely to hear from you again :) Would you like anymore support, or are you good? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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