My mom is emotionally abusive and I have tried to stop her, I don't know what to do!

[smolbeanchild]

My mom is always making me feel like a burden. She threatens to not do things that I need her to do like taking me to the doctor and driving me to school. I have some health issues and she just forces me to take supplements that don't even help. She says that doctors won't be able to do anything so she's trying to take me to see a "natural doctor" even though I'm having serious problems. She is constantly gaslighting me and blaming me for stuff that she does and she is always yelling at me and I don't know why. Around this time a year ago, I caught her cheating on my dad and I feel like she probably treats me badly because of that and she doesn't think that it was wrong to cheat. I have tried talking to her about the way she treats me but she always says that it's my fault for how she treats me or that she can do whatever she wants. I have talked to my dad but he's not willing to "get involved" even though she mistreats him too. He doesn't seem to understand how bad it's getting for me. I have talked to a couple therapists but they can't really do anything about my mom. They told me that if I can't reason with her, I have to just let her do whatever. My mom goes to her own therapist who basically tells her that nothing she does is her fault. I don't know how to get her to stop and even though I don't think it's my fault, I always feel bad. Please help! Any advice is appreciated.

Edited April 7, 2019 by smolbeanchild

[Remi]

Hello @smolbeanchild

 

Your relationship with your Mom sounds very strained, sorry to hear that it is so hard for you with her at the moment. As for your health, can you get to the doctors yourself, either on a bus or train? You can take some control over your health management, or could you ask your Dad to take you??

 

I hear you must feel in the middle of your parent's relationship because of what you saw, that must be very hard for you. Do you want to have a better relationship with her right now? Maybe you could go to a family mediator as you are both seeing therapists currently it could supplement that quite well, so you have an impartial third person there to mediate between the two of you?

 

-Remi