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I had a friend group that was toxic but i miss them


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Just to give you some context, i am 14 years old and a freshman. at the beginning of the school year i had this really great group of friends (or so i thought). we always used to hang out together and tell eachother everything and have been friends for a long time. sometime last year i noticed that none of these friends were reaching out to me but were hanging out with each other and posting all about it on instagram. i tried to talk to my friends about why they didnt invite me and how it hurt my feelings and they seemed apoligetic but it kept happening like once every two weeks. so after a few more times of them hanging out without me i contacted them again and they just came up with a bunch of excuses. so i started thinking that i might not be good enough or popular enough to be their friend (becuase i am an introvert and i am not very open with talking to people). i had alot of self doubt. then on of these friends (who i go to school with) started calling me out on my beleifs and making me very uncomfortable so much so that i broke down and cried in school. after that i stopped hanging out with that group because i realized they were toxic in my life and started hanging out with this new group of people who are super accepting, supportive and nice. but here is that part that i have a problem with, i still really miss and miss hanging out with my old toxic group of friends! so i am really confused why i miss them especially because they were so awful to me and made me feel bad about myself. by me 'breaking up' with my old group of friends it has also put a strain on my parents social life because they were really close with the parents of my old friends and they too are feeling left out because of it, so i feel guilty for destroying their friendships too.

anyway to recap what should i do because i miss my old toxic friends? and what should i do about how it is affecting my parents relationships?

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Hey there @RiverNH


Welcome to our community.


I'm glad you've managed to make new friends that you feel support you and have your best interests at heart. The fact that you recognise your old friends behaviour as toxic is also a really good sign.


I understand why you might miss them, although they did things you didn't like i'm sure you enjoyed their company, also sometimes when people don't accept us straight away we have this competitive need to win them over. Could some time apart from this group mean that some of the dynamics have changed?


Your parent's friendships are not your responsibility so don't feel guilty about that.


Are there a few particular people in the group that you like that you miss and want to spend time with? You don't have to spend time with them all in a large group. What is it about them that you miss?



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