How do I officially come out to my homophobic parents?

[BekkaCastillo]

So I’ve been dating girls for awhile now and I told my parents about the first girl I dated but they didn’t take it well and blew up on me. So I decided to tell them that I liked boys again and girls too when that isn’t the case at all. Now I’m in a serious relationship with this girl and it’s causing us problems of me not telling my parents. And the longer I keep it from the the more it will ruin our relationship. I’m just not sure how to tell my parents about all of it especially after the first incident.

[Remi]

Hello @BekkaCastillo

 

Welcome to our community,

 

Thanks for sharing with us here. Congratulations on your new relationship - I totally understand why you would want to share this with your family. Do you currently live at home or are you apart from them. I would write them a letter - and then you can chose whether to read it out loud or send it to them and then you know you will get to finish your sentence.

 

Let them know that you are happy and that this is what you want and you hope that they will support you in the decision to be happy.

 

How does that sound? Have you thought about how you would like to do it and when?

 

-Remi

[BekkaCastillo]

Both, I’m in college so during the school year I’m there but summer I’ll be home. I wrote a note to them but it seems like everytime I wanna give it to them something else comes up and they wouldn’t be able to clearly focus on it. I just know if I don’t tell them about my gf. Idk if we will last.

[Remi]

Hey @BekkaCastillo

 

Don't feel any pressure to tell them if you aren't ready. I always think, if you were in a heterosexual relationship would you have told your family by now? You are allowed to keep some things for yourself, however keeping such an important part of yourself from your family must be really tough. Your sexuality isn't just about your current partner.

 

Give it some time to think it through, the fact you have already written some thoughts down on paper is a really good start.

 

-Remi

 

 

[anxiousbigirl]

My parents are openly homophobic and Christians, every time they see some lgbt representation they get mad or pissed and tell me the classic gay is a sin. I’ve been questioning my sexuality for the last 3 years but just about a year ago I realized I was bisexual, I’ve never been in a serious relationship with anyone but I really liked a few girls and boys in my high school, I know it’s not an experimental phase or anything like that. The only two persons that knows that are my best friends (boy and girl) , I really liked my best friend (girl) for about 7 months but I gave up because she’s not into girls. During those 7 months I told my parents I liked this older guy that looks like this romance movies guys because he was into me but I wasn’t confortable and that makes me kinda sad because I really love my parents but I’m afraid they kick me out, my little sister thinks I just support the lgbt community because one time I told her I wasn’t against it and told my parents and they get mad at me and told me that social medias are gettin into my brain and all the tv shows with lgbt representation are also messing me up

Edited April 11, 2019 by anxiousbigirl

[Remi]

Hello @anxiousbigirl

 

Welcome to the community.

 

That sucks that you feel your parents wouldn't accept you for who you are. The truth is social media and television don't have any effect on your sexuality, it's just who you are and nothing can change that. Being bisexual is totally normal and natural no matter what your parents say to you. We know that over 50% of people don't identify as fully heterosexual - we are all on a spectrum! I know it's hard as you feel your parents might not accept you but you don't have to share anything with them before you are ready to.

 

-Remi