I'm new here, I just want to get some things off my chest.

[ethank1976]

well, for starters, I'm honestly, well quite alone. I have my dad, he tries to understand how I'm feeling and help .and he's sincere and it is appreciated, but he doesn't really understand, because I don't myself. I play videogames a lot, talk to online friends a lot. but never really leave the house. my family doesn't really care for me because I'm not a grade A student like my sister. but I did graduate a year and a half early, and I'm quite proud of that. but that hasn't really swayed their beliefs that I'm just not a good guy .I believe that too because they've planted that thought in my head and I hate it .I don't know if this is supposed to be a happier forum, but I know that this was here for discussion, and honestly, I know there are people who feel the same as me, maybe for different reasons. but I know I'm not truly alone, I just havent been trying to find people to communicate with, I haven't been trying to expand my friendships, and I help a lot of my friends with their issues, so I should be able to help myself too .I'm sorry that this is really long, it's not everything swimming around in my head, but if you'd like to talk to me about your issues, and help me talk about mine, or even just need a friend .I'm here for you guys. thanks for listening .

[SweetGirl44]

Hi Ethan <3 I am new here too.I will tell you a little about me so we can get to know each other.I am a girl(As you can see from my username lol)and 13 years old.2 years ago puberty started for me(I know its a little late but idk)I gained weight,got A LOT of pimples and my hair was always greasy and stuff.I hated it and I fell into depression.I had a lot of friends but since I was so sad all the time they stopped hanging out with me.Then something awfull happened.My bf who was SO MUCH nice to me,dumped me.(I know I am young we did not kiss or anything do not worry lol).He told me that he doesn't like me anymore because I have so many pimples and I gained a lot of weight and that I have changed from this beautifull girl into this mess.I never thought that he could say something like that because he is such a nice guy.Or should I say WAS such a nice guy.Then for the next half a year I ate lunch with the lunch ladies and I lost focus on school because I was always a straight A's student and now I kinda gave up on everything.The teachers told me that too,that I have changed a lot,Also my mother who couldn't believe I turned so ugly.She said that.Yes.Then I realized I need to get my shit together.I went to see a dermatologist but nothing worked and it kept being worse.I started styling my hair more often I woked out and got this amazing body(I do not want to sound like a have a huge ego but I worked hard for it so I can say it!)also I bought a lot of nice outfits.I didn't wear makeup cause I don't know how to do it lol.I started out of nowhere hanging out with ''the popular kids'' how everyone described them.But they are the nicest people ever and they do not believe in labels and they hate when people call them like that.Then I started being this bubbly person who is constantly laughing and I basically returned to real me.All it took was me finding commom interesnt with this ''popular'' girl and be really funny and she told everyone about me and we all became friends.Whole this time I was so scared of them but now they are my closest and most loyal friends ever.I made such a big deal out of it but I shouldnt have.Now my ex bf wanted us to be back together but I refused(ofc I did what was he thinking!!??)I still have straight A's and I resolved problems I had with my mom and we are happy and everything is perfect.Then why am I here you ask?It is because of my ex bf I fell gross everytime I look into the mirror when I see these gross pimples and pimple scars and blackheads.He after I refused to get back together kept telling me these stuff.All the time.I know he tells me that because he is also self concious about his insecurity's.I realized it back when we ''we're together''.But It is not only his words that hurt me but my parent's words too.But I don't focus on those things.Because I have pimples and can't do makeup so I can not hide them,I care about my other features.Like my body,my hair,my nails,my outfit,and most important out of all of this,my personality.I don't know how old you are but I know you are probably thinking that I am too young and that my problems are ridicilous but the pain is real.Sorry this was so long but you tolkd all of this to me so I wanted to share everything with you.So my advice is this,and I am talking from my own experience.1.Clean your room,completely,and organize things,2.Do your homework and study in free time cause being on computer whole day doesn't do anything.At the end of the day you didn't do anything and you fell like sh**..3.Have good grades so your parents can be satisfaid and also you.4,Do your hair,since your a guy this should be easier.5.Talk about video games with your friends,wich youa re going to make by finding common interesent with them.Talk about video games if that is your thing.Some guys really like them,and If your into boys that is even better because you will impress them.If not then it doesnt matter you should still impress them so you can be better friends.Since you like video games you should impress them with that,and do not try to like something just because they do.Talk about things you like but also hear about things they like.And also make jokes all the time,people love that and it doesn't change who you are but they love it.6.Even if you are a guy make sure you wear nice outfits,If you are younger ask mom to go shopping.7.Find a girl you like,if you are into girls,and try to be with her.But do it over a longer period of time and do not be too pushy or clingy.Other guys will like that you can make a girl like you.8.If you do not like girls,in that way,you can pay more attention to your outfits and find a boy that you like and you know is into guys,DO NOT fall for straight boys,EVER.He will introduce you to his friends and It will be awesome.8.Try some sports,jmost guys like sports,and if your playing something like basketball and your in a gteam then you already can hang out with other teammates cause you have common interesnt.But be subtle about it.9.Now when you made friends,I know it is not easy but I believe in you and you can do it it takes a little bit of time but you have to wait.Hang out with them and just go somewhere,doesn't matter where just go and hang out,everyday.It will be far more fun then video games believe me I know.10.Take care of your body,workout more,play football with friends if you weant to or play video games with them but also workout everyday.EVERYDAY.I know it is hard but what I say next will motivate you to do these 10 steps.Take a deep breath and imagine yourself doing all these things.Is t better then being at your computer all day?Do you look better then you do now?Do you seem happier?And finally ,what is stopping you from doing all of this?Now I want you to get up right now and clean your room and pick out an outfit for tommorow.Then do your homework,study a little,wash your hair and THEN you can play video games.But only when you finish all these things,I believe in you,tommorow do these steps and you will se the results.Please don't dissappoint me,since I made this huge text and really tried to make it helpfull,I believe in you.If you are not in school and you are older let me know and I will tell you a couple more things(It won't be this long lol)but most of these can help you in that case too.No matter what the key is to get your sh** together and get out there more.There is only one life and I AM NOT letting you spend it on video games!!!Tell me later if you did all of these things I said earlier,not the steps but washed your hair and that you know.Ly again and believe in you please listen to me I understand you I typed all of this stuff that helped me and will help you I am going throught a lot too even when I'm young and remember you are not alone,this is what this community is about.Tell me later a little more about you and your problems and as I said tell me if you cleaned you room and that other stuff,Tommorow you are going to start with the steps and I can not wait.I am so happy for you.Ly bye <3(PS,Don't forget about letting me knkw if this helped you and if you did those things.I really tried with this text and now I kind of feel responsible for you lol jk <3But seriosly let me know,ly bye <3)

[Remi]

Hey @ethank1908

 

Welcome to our community, we are so happy you made it here.

And don't worry about what kind of space we are, we are whatever space you need us to be today, it's a safe space and we are all here for you.

 

I'm sure your family do care but it feels like maybe you feel a bit misunderstood by them, could you talk to them ever about how you feel ostracised by the family?

 

You sound like a very kind and empathetic person, from helping your friends to wanting to help others on this community. You should be proud of yourself for reaching out and making new friends. That is no little step, so well done!

 

You are not alone

 

-Remi

[Remi]

Thank you so much for those steps @SweetGirl44 What amazing and thoughtful ideas for Ethan to try.

 

It also sounds like you have been through a lot with your self-confidence too. Remember don't let other people bring you down, especially about your appearance you are beautiful, and your personality shines through in your writing .

 

I know pimples and scarring feel like the worst thing now but they do get better, I used to have such bad pimples when I was 13 and now you could never even tell. Just remember to wash your face twice a day with fresh water and try not to used too many chemicals on your skin.

 

This ex boyfriend may have said some things that have brought you down, but you are in charge of how this effects you. His thoughts are not facts.

 

Happy to have you on our community.

 

-Remi

[SweetGirl44]

Thank you so much Remi���

This helped me a lot😊

[Remi]

Hey @SweetGirl44

 

Anytime at all, we are always here for support or a chat! Also let me know if you'd like any other skincare tips.

 

-Remi

[SweetGirl44]

I would love some skincare tips,please.Thank you so much 😊�

[Remi]

Hey @SweetGirl44

 

So make sure you are washing your face twice a day with water and a gentle cleanser. Moisturise daily and find a moisturiser that works with your skin type - whether oily or dry. Also using a gentle exfoliator once or twice a week is good and using a toner.

 

Make sure you drink lots of water as your skin loves to be hydrated!

 

-Remi

[SweetGirl44]

Thank you so much for these tips,I already do all of those things but I still appreciate that you took away your time to write these.It is really nice to know someone cares about you especially right now when I’m going through some family problems.I am not ready to talk about them right now,but I will open up and ask you for some advice if you would like to help me,I’m just not ready yet.In the meantime,I would really appreciate it if you would give me some tips about what to do when you have a crush on your best friend and the feeling is mutual(because you have been openly flirting with each other)but you are both just scared to admit it because you have been friends from childhood and you don’t want to ruin it.Thank you do much��