need some help with anger oof

[_inz_hani]

wazzup

hi there so

i have found that i get pretty pissed quite easily recently

its like anything anyone says, like an opinion that i dont agree with or something that is just totally in the wrong to me or is something mean, pretty much triggers me. I start shouting and swearing and just cant stop shouting. I try and stop myself from pushing or hurting the person in any way and its worked, but i just get so pissed, so easily.

That breathing method just dont work with me, dont know how it is supposed to anyways.

Also, my relationship with my mum is so rocky (is that the right term??? idk lol) but you might get what i mean. I feel like she always has something negative to say about me and picks on me. She gets me REALLY pissed and angry, and we sometimes have mini verbal fights. I dont want this with my mum; other kids have such a good relationship with their mother and i just envy that so bad ugh.

I really do want to change, but i just dont know where to start. I am quite stressed and have some stuff on my mind.

Thank you for reading this lengthy intro haha

_inz

[Remi]

Hey there @_inz_hani

 

Welcome to our community! Really happy to have you here.

 

You have raised some really interesting points here. Anger management can be something that is really hard to control, especially when we are teenagers, I used to have a really similar relationship with my Mum when I was a few years younger.

 

It's really amazing that you are recognising your actions, that is one of the first steps in changing negative behaviours.

 

Firstly, your anger is an emotion, and maybe an emotion that you have no control over - what you do have control over is how you express this anger. It is entirely your choice how you react.

 

If breathing doesn't always work for you to try counting backwards from 10 before you say anything, try walking away, going to your room and screaming into a pillow, go on a walk. Remember you can never unsay anything so just give yourself enough time to think "is this response useful?"

 

In general, in order to be a bit more connected to your thoughts and emotions, I would recommend you try meditation or yoga you can use any of these apps https://www.ditchthelabel.org/10-mindfulness-apps-you-need-to-download-to-bring-some-zen-to-your-life/ and Yoga with Adrienne offer free yoga classes on Youtube.

 

It's something that can train yourself to regulate more and more. But don't be too hard on yourself. Have you tried telling your Mum any of the things that you said on here, that might help if she understands that you are really trying to be calmer and maybe she will regulate her moods around you a bit more?

 

​​​​​​​-Remi