I work closely with a woman who is a superior/friend ..and I feel i want to tell her

[Stella]

I am a mature MtF , I am open /out to some and not others and any ideas on the question would be appreciated ...not sure what I am feeling...scared or what ...just need to take a leap of faith ......at the moment just trying to keep a lid on it for a few months before I go 247 ....just taking the next step

[Remi]

Hello Stella,

 

Welcome to our community.

 

I think if you call this woman a friend and you feel you want to tell her then you should. Think back to how you told some of the people in your life that you are already out to, their reactions and comments and how that made you feel.

 

It is normal to feel scared, but the rewards after may bring your friendship closer.

 

Is there anything in particular about telling her that you feel nervous about?

 

Have a read of this article by Lewis about coming out as trans, it may inspire you in some way. https://www.ditchthelabel.org/8-tips-for-coming-out-as-trans/

 

Remi

[Stella]

thank you , I think I am probably i am most concerned about is control i guess , I feel as if i have a degree of control at the moment in terms of who knows as I am not out/open to all .and if i tell her it may get a little head of me .she is a good person but I don't consider her a gossip ..i guess I have to do it at some point and if this forces me to a degree i may look back and laugh as I have with some milestones I considered awkward or made my anxious previously and turned out to be know big deal............i think I will give it some thought over the coming days and try and get some courage up x

[Remi]

Hello there @Stella

 

Yes, I understand why you feel like you would lose control and your reasons for wanting to maintain that control. But you are still in charge of your own narrative if you chose who you tell and how you tell them.

 

You don't have to do anything but you can if you want to. Give it some more thought, you could even write out some best case scenario verses worse case scenario cards so you can plan for some eventualities.

 

Good luck and feel free to check back in here to let us know how it goes.

 

-Remi