Unthoughtthought Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 Hi I feel now coinfident to say something. Sure its online and its anonym but I dont trust very fast. So I tried to kill me the last year 2 Times. I had for like 4 years depression. I startet to hurt myself and more. I dont trust people because my closest friends killed themself already I feel alone and left behind in this world. But somehow I keep going. I study biomedical engeniering and do sports. Due to the fact that I dont have friends anymore I have autism and for me its hard to find friends who dont care that I am really anoying sometimes. And I've lost my old friends. I hate my family for the fact that they hate each other and noone communicates with each other. They still communicate with me, but I dont know if its only because they dont want that I try to kill myself again. So every night I ask myself why I am here on this Planet. What is my purpose.Will I ever meet a Person who will love me (I had 3 before one boy and 2 girls but all cheatet on me). Will I ever feel real joy again. I think so much about that and still feel I thought nothing. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remi Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 (edited) Hello Unthoughtthought, We really really appreciate you sharing this here, welcome to our community. We are here for you! I'm sorry things have got so bad you have attempted to take your own life. How do you feel right now? Are you still thinking about suicide? If you do feel like this please tell someone straight away, Your strength is amazing and that you keep going, even when it feels impossible to. If you do feel like this please tell someone straight away. Do you have the phone number for your national suicide hotline? It's a great resource when a person calls for themselves, or if person wants information/support for a friend of theirs. Here's a list of National Suicide Hotlines for various countries! https://help.instagram.com/1666662083590610 Which sports do you play? Biomedical engineering must be hard at times, do you know what you'd like to go on as a career after that? With your autism, it can be harder to recognise friendships, do you have any classmates at college that you could reach out to or invite over to study? Don't worry too much about losing some friendships from your childhood, I know it hurts, but it is really normal to lose touch with your childhood friends when you go to college. It sounds like you feel your family don't understand or communicate well with you? Do you have anyone you do communicate with? I think you will feel joy again, and i'm really sorry things are tough right now. I'm here whenever you need to chat. -Remi Edited February 27, 2019 by Remi MultiQuote Quote This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unthoughtthought Posted February 27, 2019 Author Share Posted February 27, 2019 Hello Unthoughtthought, We really really appreciate you sharing this here, welcome to our community. We are here for you! I'm sorry things have got so bad you have attempted to take your own life. How do you feel right now? Are you still thinking about suicide? If you do feel like this please tell someone straight away, Your strength is amazing and that you keep going, even when it feels impossible to. If you do feel like this please tell someone straight away. Do you have the phone number for your national suicide hotline? It's a great resource when a person calls for themselves, or if person wants information/support for a friend of theirs. Here's a list of National Suicide Hotlines for various countries! https://help.instagram.com/1666662083590610 Which sports do you play? Biomedical engineering must be hard at times, do you know what you'd like to go on as a career after that? With your autism, it can be harder to recognise friendships, do you have any classmates at college that you could reach out to or invite over to study? Don't worry too much about losing some friendships from your childhood, I know it hurts, but it is really normal to lose touch with your childhood friends when you go to college. It sounds like you feel your family don't understand or communicate well with you? Do you have anyone you do communicate with? I think you will feel joy again, and i'm really sorry things are tough right now. I'm here whenever you need to chat. -Remi Sometimes if I am all alone I think about suicide. But I have some guys online who play since I was 12 online with me, they gave me theyre phonenumber so that I call them and talk. It is helpfull but I need continusly talking it seems. In college there is one girl who stayed with me for one night when I got drunk on a party and feeled depressed again. But the girl hase a lots of friends and I am very very shy so I cant really invite her. Other people dont want to come over to me it seems they dont like me. Sports I do are karate, fencing and medieval fencing. What I want to do after I graduated I dont really know yet. Thank you really for your answer. I cried due happyness that someone since a long time asked me something about my life. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditch the Label Staff Harper Posted February 28, 2019 Ditch the Label Staff Share Posted February 28, 2019 @Unthoughtthought Hi! I just wanted to pick up on your latest message to check in to see how you're feeling. When you say that you sometimes think about suicide, is this something you are currently considering? Do you currently feel suicidal? I've also dropped you an email just to check in, I hope that's okay. Harper MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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