Depression/Family problems

[KyleY]

Ok I’m not here for me I’m here for my ex/ mother of my child she suffers from Postpartum depression and she takes meds for it but it never seems to help she is sad all the time on top of all that her mother and father just got a Divorce and it destroyed her. I love this woman with all my heart and it hurts me everyday seeing her like this and not knowing how to help her I try talking to her but if I try she pushes me away. I don’t know what I can do

[Remi]

Hello Kyle,

 

Welcome to our community and thanks for sharing it here. It shows what a lucky person she is to have you that you want to get some advice on how to support her.

 

When supporting someone, they don't need or expect you to be a trained counsellor. Sometimes I think the best thing to do is let them know you will always be there if they want to chat. But not to force the conversation and make them talk about stuff they aren't ready to, even if it feels like you want to help. It's helpful that people experiencing depression don't feel judged, it can be such a horrible position to be in and you feel as though you are letting everyone down. So if you can have lots of patience with her that will make her feel less pressure.

 

Is she currently seeing a counsellor? Having an impartial voice she can go to, to discuss her mental health could be helpful. Could you just leave a few numbers for her so it's her choice if she would like to call, this should empower her.

 

Make sure you are looking after yourself, caring for someone else can burn us out without realising. She has gone through a big shock lately and it is important to feel the sadness when it comes - but it should get better - keep reinforcing that to her too.

 

I hope some of this is useful for you. Keep me updated with how things are going with her.

Here's an article on supporting someone with depression as well.

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/depression-how-you-can-help/

 

-Remi