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i fear my current relationship is one sided. what should i do?


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hi. i am currently in relationship that will have lasted for one month on tuesday. we are in a weird position because she doesn't really make any moves and i am really bad at picking up any sort of verbal cues, and my anxiety sort of prevents me from making any significant moves. it just seems to be moving pretty slow, we held hands for the first time last weekend. anyway, like i said earlier, it will almost be a month soon and we still haven't kissed, and we hug probably once a day, but the hugs only recently started maybe a couple weeks ago. this relationship really lacks physical contact in general. am i trying to push things to fast? i keep telling myself that it's because it is a girl/girl relationship but i know this isn't the truth.

anyway, i am worried because I was the first to make a move, and i constantly show my affection, but she doesn't really reciprocate it (very much or well at least). we have talked about it, but i think part of the problem has to do with the fact that we are gay and she is pretty insecure about it at school (even though she denies it), and we only occasionally hang out outside of school. what should i do? i don't really want to break up because i think i am really falling for her, but i am not sure she feels the same way, or if she is still shy. please help me out.

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Hey Paperadventures,


Thanks for sharing this here with us.


It's tricky to say without knowing your partner or your relationship. She may just still be a little overwhelmed by coming out and then displaying her affections in public. Or some people just aren't that tactile and don't always like lots of physical interaction.


In all relationships, communication is key. So I would talk to her about how you feel in private, so no one else is listening. And maybe say you would like to show her how you feel about her with intimacy and say you are happy to take it slow but ask if there is anything you can do to make the experience or the relationship easier for her.


It's obvious you care a lot about this girl and it is still early days so try not to panic.


Please let us know how it goes.



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  • 1 month later...


I know it has taken me a really long time to reply, but I talked to her about it and we have gotten a lot better. There is still a lack of physical contact but that is because she get really nervous initiating it. We have been through a lot and we are getting a lot closer. The only thing is I am a bit worried that I am being too clingy. She is a part of my friend group so it isn't because I am following her around but I think I maybe send her too many messages? I almost always have to start the conversation because she doesn't like texting. I think I am just overthinking because that's what I do, but it's almost been three months since we started dating so I'm not sure because she might have lost feelings.


Thanks for helping :)

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