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Where did my self esteem go?


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Hi im 20 years old. Ever since i was a child i suffered from my insecurities. I had no self esteem at all.

When i turned 18 i became a little more secure about myself.

My self esteem grew little by little. I wasnt the most confident but things got better.

But now all of a sudden ive lost it all. Everything i do or say seems to be wrong. I feel ugly and disgusting and i cant find my worth.

Im too scared to open up about this because people might think of it as stupid and that people my age should be focusing on their studying and preparing for the future while im stuck here just trying to get my self esteem back.

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Hey Mariams,


A big welcome to community.


The great thing is that you managed to improve your self-esteem a few years ago - which means that you already have the tools to empower yourself. So I think of self-esteem as a bit of a life long marathon instead of a quick sprint. It is something I have to work at every day. There are regular hurdles and setbacks. Your self-esteem will fluctuate from time to time and this is completely natural and normal.


You say that a lot of other folks your age are worrying about adulthood - your early 20s are certainly very stressful. It may be that you are feeling more stressed than usual and this is triggering your low self-esteem. I've attached a stress reprogramming resource here which may help - https://www.ditchthelabel.org/stress-reprogramming/.


Be patient with yourself Mariam, you have worth, you matter and you will feel better about yourself again.


I can share with you some tools I use to boost my self esteem if you would like that?




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Hey Mariam,


No problem that's what i'm here for.


So one of my tips to improve my self esteem is to give my self an affirmation or a few affirmations for the day. They have to be positive so you can't say for example I am not something - It has to be I am. I say - "I am healthy" "I am strong", "I am a good friend" 'I am patient". So I think it helps to say them in the morning when you wake up. Take 3 deep breaths in and out and just say them quietly in your mind and repeat them 3 times.


Do you think you could think of a few now that you could say to yourself tomorrow morning?


I know it's so hard with social media but try not to compare yourself to other people. Remember it is just a snapshot of someones life and it's also usually just the 'golden highlights' - everyone worries sometimes that they are not enough.


What things do you do now that make you feel happy? Do you have any hobbies or have something that you really enjoy doing?



Edited by Remi

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