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Im Really Confused?


WhatsMyNameAgain19    

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i have recently realised that i'm not straight and not gay, the thing is i am a male and i like girls but do not like men, but i am attracted to girls that have changed gender to a boy but i'm am not attracted to guys that have changed to a girl, i do not even know if there is a sexuality name but i just am really confused, i am currently dating a girl that has changed to a male. if the girl that has changed into a boy and has gone through surgery to get parts taken/added i am not attracted to that. is anyone able to let me know what this is?

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Hey Whatsmynameagain19,

 

The closest label I can personally think of, which is also how I identify is, pansexual - which means someone that is “not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.� I find this resource The Gender Bread Person really helpful because it shows that everything is a sliding scale - or a spectrum and so we don’t have to pick just one side and stick to it.

 

There may not be a name for exactly how you feel. But labels are just a guide - some people really enjoy being labeled and part of a community but in reality sexuality is far more nuanced than that and there are so many different factors and variations within each label.

 

Gender expression and gender identity are also different. A lot of trans people chose to never surgically transition. Therefore some trans men have vulvas, just as some trans women have penises.

 

When it comes to what we are attracted to, we all have preferences and things that we know we like about someone. It is entirely natural for you to feel this way and say that you wouldn’t be personally attracted to a trans man who had made the decision to medically transition... Is it something you have discussed with your partner? How do they feel about it if so?

 

-Remi

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