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How should I clear this up?


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So, I came out to my friends and parents as bisexual about a year ago. My friends were super supportive (a lot of them are LGBTQ+ as well), but my parents had a really hard time with it. We come from a super religious family, and my mom started crying when I told her. Fast forward to very recently. I got asked out by a guy (I am a female btw) and, as I have never been asked out before, I got really excited. I decided to go on a few dates to see how it went. He's a really nice guy, probably the best I could get,but over the past couple weeks I've started to notice something. All I see him as is a really good friend. And, if I think about it, I'm not sure I've ever really had a crush on a guy. I've started to notice that I'm only really attracted to girls. Now I'm in a really sticky situation. Telling my friends? No problem. But breaking up with this really sweet dude when he obviously cares for me a lot? That's quite a bit more difficult. And to make it worse, my mom's been hoping I would get with a guy even after I came out last year. She said it would be "easier on the family." And when I told her about this nice guy, she got so excited! I can't bring myself to tell her that not only will this relationship probably not be continuing, but also that there's a very good chance I'll never date a guy from now on. Does someone have any advice on how I should tell people? Or even if I should tell them in the first place? Idk, it's all really convoluted.


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  • Ditch the Label Staff

Hi, I can completely understand why this would feel so confusing! At the heart of it, regardless of whether you are bi or not, you don't reciprocate this guy's feelings. And that's okay. You can't be in a relationship with someone if you're having to pretend or force something as that won't serve either of you - you would both ultimately be unhappy.

We also can't make ourselves be attracted in any way to a particular person or gender to please our family as that would mean living completely inauthentically which would be an immense strain to keep up.

I would suggest being honest with this guy and saying that you don't feel the same way (you don't have to discuss sexuality if that doesn't feel right for you) but that you do really like him as a friend but nothing more. I know it's difficult but you both deserve this honesty.

I would also suggest just dealing with one thing at a time rather than viewing it as a huge issue that needs dealing with all at once.

How does that sound to start with?


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