where do i begin?

[MrPotatoBean]

Where do I begin. I'm just a normal 18 y/o boy, and as context for my story, I dropped out of college after 1 semester hardly giving a damn about school but I work full time with a goal that by summer 2019 I'll either move out still working full time or move away for college. So let's get right into it. I fell out of love with my ex a few months ago but I still care about her and I think I've secretly become a victim of depression. The next several months following our breakup (which was mutual) we would talk to each other as friends and try to work things out but every other month we would stop talking as a result of a huge argument that left us both not wanting to talk to each other again. As of right now, we haven't talked in 3 whole months and at the start of it, I knew it would be a while if we ever talked again. Since the breakup, I have tried to keep my optimistic mindset but it's not easy. I noticed I don't eat as much as I did when I was with her, which is good because I could eat a whole pizza by myself and now I can't. Furthermore, when we were together I was always happy about doing anything with her but I noticed I don't enjoy many things anymore, and when I find something I like it doesn't take me long to get bored of it. I'm a sociopath meaning I don't experience emotions or don't express them or something and that trait of mine dates back to middle school, but when we were together I noticed something about her brought something about me out from deep inside of me, it's hard to explain. I also can't help but think she was the one and I blew my shot, but maybe I'm too young. Anyways I'm glad my work keeps me busy and my mind off of negative thoughts but after work sometimes I stay up til 6 am thinking about my ex. I am over her, meaning I've accepted there's no hope of becoming even an acquaintance with her anymore but I can't shake the feeling that maybe there's a possibility our paths will cross once more. Everyday my mind is continuously overflowing with bad thoughts but my ex isn't the only reason why I think I'm depressed.

Disclaimer: I'm not joking about depression or whatever but I realize what I'm experiencing is still pretty mild

[Remi]

Hey Mr PotatoBean,

 

Going through a break up can be a really devastating trauma in our lives. With trauma, it can take a little while to sink in sometimes weeks or months after it can begin affecting us. Even when we aren’t sure if we still have feelings for the other person - you are losing someone who you used to spend a lot of time with and this loss can make us question ourselves and it can take a little while to get back to being you again.

 

It sounds like she isn’t the only reason why you are feeling down at the moment but is a part of it. It’s okay to miss her, and it’s completely normal to still be thinking about her. If there is no chance of getting back together - let’s think - what was it about being with her that made you more motivated and enjoy things more? Although she may have some part of it, it was because YOU were happy. What are some of the things that made you happy?

 

Never apologise about your mental health, it is all relative and your feelings are valid.

 

-Remi