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I started again...


-Lou-    

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm

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I started SH again, despite quitting last year. I started last year of October. I started again this year for a different reason. I hate myself and doubt everything I do, even playing clarinet!! I've been playing for 3 years and I doubt my skills a lot, but one time, I played a part where I had duet with my friend Gabe. He plays viola and I play the tenor sax part because my teacher gave it to me instead of the 3rd clarinet part, which he gave to my friend, so my part is one octave higher. He said I had a good tone, which made me feel happier.

I still doubt everything I do. I hate Geometry too, I'm failing that class because I barely understand a lot of the stuff.

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17 hours ago, -Lou- said:

I started SH again, despite quitting last year. I started last year of October. I started again this year for a different reason. I hate myself and doubt everything I do, even playing clarinet!! I've been playing for 3 years and I doubt my skills a lot, but one time, I played a part where I had duet with my friend Gabe. He plays viola and I play the tenor sax part because my teacher gave it to me instead of the 3rd clarinet part, which he gave to my friend, so my part is one octave higher. He said I had a good tone, which made me feel happier.

I still doubt everything I do. I hate Geometry too, I'm failing that class because I barely understand a lot of the stuff.

Hi @-Lou-, thank you for sharing that with us. When we are recovering from self harm there will be ups and downs along the way. It's really common to relapse as we're still learning new ways on how to cope with things. What you mind find helpful right now is to remind yourself, why you stopped last year and what helped you to stop last time? You might also find this article helpful https://ditchthelabel.org/15-safer-alternatives-to-self-harm 

From everything you're telling me it sounds like you are using sh as a way to cope with negative thoughts you have about yourself. Is that right?  I get the impression that you've got low self esteem right now and that you might find it helpful to focus on building your confidence and self esteem. What do you think? One thing I noticed is that you already told us what helps you to feel happier (getting positive feedback 😊). It's great that you have noticed this and maybe this is something that you can build on. Some people find it helpful to have a self esteem journal, where they note down three things every day related to positive experiences or success that they have had that day. These could be things like something they did well, something they enjoyed/had fun doing or maybe they helped someone else that day or were proud of either themselves or someone else. Thinking about and noting down these things every day , can help to shift our perspective and give us a confidence boost. How does that sounds and do you think that is something that you might find helpful? 

Can I ask if you have reached out to anyone and have told them about your self harm? It might be a good idea to get some extra support with this. What do you think? Also, I'm wondering whether it would be helpful for you to speak to your geometry teacher about how you are struggling in class. Your teacher might not realise that you're not understanding what they are explaining and you might just need someone to explain it a different way. 

Thanks again for opening up. Please know that we are here for you and we can work through this together 🫂

 

 

 

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm

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On 10/10/2024 at 3:34 PM, -Lou- said:

I started SH again, despite quitting last year. I started last year of October. I started again this year for a different reason. I hate myself and doubt everything I do, even playing clarinet!! I've been playing for 3 years and I doubt my skills a lot, but one time, I played a part where I had duet with my friend Gabe. He plays viola and I play the tenor sax part because my teacher gave it to me instead of the 3rd clarinet part, which he gave to my friend, so my part is one octave higher. He said I had a good tone, which made me feel happier.

I still doubt everything I do. I hate Geometry too, I'm failing that class because I barely understand a lot of the stuff.

Hi @-Lou-,

Sorry to hear that you have SH'd again. How are you doing? How have you been feeling since? 

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