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My appearence brings me down.


Moonlightdawn    

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For some time now, I would say ever since I've started a new year at school, I've been more obsessed over weight and body. I have done some certain methods for weight loss, which I won't discuss as of now. I've been eating three regular meals and walking 3 hours per night and drinking alot of water, but everyday I always worry about gaining weight. It probably sounds stupid, but I'm scared of becoming 100 pounds, and I also try and never snack, as I'm scared of gaining, and I usually feel guilty after snacking or having something bad. My days are always bad and I'm always miserable due to my body. How can I free myself?

Edited by Moonlightdawn
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Hello Moonlightofdawn,

 

Welcome to Community, thanks for sharing this with us.

 

In today’s world there is soooo much pressure around appearance so please don’t feel silly for worrying about this, so many of us do, but we shouldn’t have to. -firstly some positives - you have recognised that your relationship with your body image is not making you happy - that can take a lot to do so well done, secondly eating 3 meals a day and drinking lots of water is also really good. We have some good habits here and but I do think there are some that we could improve.

You say you are walking for 3 hours a day, that does seem like quite a long time, are you walking that much because you enjoy it or is it a way to maintain your body shape?

 

You talk about being scared of gaining weight, what is it about this that frightens you? With these kinds of intrusive thoughts about our bodies, we can never win. We need to change our mindset. I know it’s super tricky, I can be like this with my body too - I say if only I lose 5lbs i’ll be happy - but it doesn’t change, if I lose the weight then the goal posts keep moving.

 

I know you won’t just read this and change your mind but if I think focusing your energies onto self-love would help you. How old are you? If you’d like to, you can check in here with me regularly on keeping positive habits around eating, body image and exercise, it is totally to you. Just know, you are not your thoughts about your body.

 

-Remi

Edited by Remi

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hello, thank you for responding! This is a really late reply, so sorry!! But to anwser some of your questions, I'm 13 years old, and I do walk to lose weight\mantaining my body shape. What scares me about weight gain is I'm scared I'll get fatter than I already am. I'm 82.2 pounds, as the last time I checked which was yesterday. Last week I had gained weight, so I started counting calories and measuring out liquids and foods, and that's growing into an obsession...I try not to eat 1000 calories or more, the thought frightens me. My mom has started me on therapy, which I'm quite scared about as they talked about "Weight restoration" which is well, the last thing I want..I'm just kind of scared. But, once again, thank you for responding to me, It means alot.

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Hey there @Moonlightdawn ,

 

I'm really happy you got back to me. How are you?

 

Thanks for being so honest with me on here. Some of the things you have said to me about counting calories and a fear to of gaining weight are things someone might say if they were experiencing disordered eating. Do you think this might apply to you?

 

How do you find the therapy? It is there to help you and I would keep with it. Everyone will have your best interests at heart.

 

-Remi

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Hello, I am doing alright today, thank you for asking. I'm still not sure if I would call it disordered eating, although everyone else seems to call it that. Therapy is a little scary and nerve-racking, I've only had one visit so far, and I go back on March 12th. This is my first time ever in therapy, so I'm not sure what to expect. I will stay in therapy though, as It is also by my mom's rules I must, and I figured It wouldn't hurt to try. Once again, thank you so much for always checking back with me!

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Hey Moonlightdawn,

 

No worries. Therapy can be a bit daunting at first, so it is completely normal to feel this way. The first time I went I was really nervous but then the woman was really nice and just asked me what I wanted to talk about and was so kind and patient. Remember they are there to help you and it is your time so you are allowed to say what you want. What would you like to get out of therapy?

 

I'm so glad to hear you are going to stick at it. Good luck with your appointment on the 12th.

 

-Remi

 

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I feel like what I would like to get out of therapy would be better ways to cope and not worry as much. I feel kind of trapped, and I'm making everyone else kinda mad around me. It's just the fear of eating "normally" that kind scares me, ya know? I feel like out of therapy I want freedom back

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Hey hey @Moonlightdawn,

 

Please don't worry that you are making people around you mad...we all need extra support from time to time - people care which is why they are trying to help.

 

I totally get ya, it is scary - and it will be hard, I won't lie to you about that. But you will also get that freedom back that you want so badly to keep that goal in mind because I have no doubt you can get better.

 

Are you doing anything fun today?

 

-Remi

 

 

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Hey Remi, my mom took me to the hospital today...It was awful! My BMI says It's a 16, my glucose was at 46 or somewhere around there...they said If I don't get better I would be sent to some hospital that's 2 hours away from me. I'm home atleast, and I'm going to start working on eating normally. My mom saw my food diary, which is why she took me because I was barely consuming enough calories. I'm also going to stop my walking too. I weighed in at 80 pounds, and I used to be about 97 last year or so. My peditrican wants to see me now, so that'll be "fun". I do miss being carefree, though. Do you know how to overcome fear foods? I know It's a long process that takes time, but how can I also feel ok eating 3 "normal"(?) meals a day? People are also saying that this will be a journey and recovery, but is it really? I don't think I'm sick enough. Sorry if I'm annoying you, It's just for some reason I feel comfortable talking to you, sorry if that seems odd. Also, sorry for late responses, I don't get notified

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Hey @Moonlightdawn ,

 

I'm glad you feel comfortable chatting to me on here, that's exactly what I'm here for is to listen and offer some support.

 

I'm sorry your trip to the hospital was so awful, I don't think anyone likes hospitals, I deffo don't! But well done for going. So I think 16 sounds like a very low BMI - do you agree? It's good you are still at home, you wouldn't want to go to a hospital away from your family and friends.

 

I think stopping walking as much is a good idea, at least then you won't be burning as much and you can focus on eating - you are making all of these decisions which I'm so happy about. I don't have all the answers about overcoming fear foods for you, i'm sorry!

 

I know you don't feel like you are sick enough, but have you thought that that may be your illness saying that? Just a thought. From what I've read I see a person who is really committed to getting better though, and you are in control of this whole journey.

 

Think of a future where you will be able to be a bit more carefree and hey, why not do something nice for yourself today - watch a funny film or call an old friend have a bath something that is purely for you.

 

No pressure to respond straight away, just when you can.

 

Have a good day! XD

 

-Remi

 

 

 

Edited by Remi

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  • 4 weeks later...

I don’t know what to do my friends call me pretty but a lot of other people that I don’t even know call me ugly and it has bringing me down lately I have lost a lot of friends because of this

 

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Hey there,

 

Sorry to hear that you have lost friends over this, what happened? Our beauty is not made up by the opinions of others. You are beautiful and so many people in your life can see that.

 

-Remi

Edited by Remi

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Hey @Kk ugly girl

 

I'm sorry they said that to you, that's untrue and unkind.

 

It says a lot about them but nothing about you. You are not other people's opinions on you. And they probably weren't your friends in the first place if they would say something like that to you. Try to spend your time with people that bring you up instead of pulling you down. The people that see how special you are and you will feel more confident.

 

-Remi

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