Hawthorne11 Posted August 20 Share Posted August 20 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Disordered Eating Click this notice to reveal the content. Hey guys, first off, wow it's been a long time since I've been on! It's cool to see some familiar names. So I have a friend who has an eating disorder. It started fairly recently, and she's getting help, but I want to know if there is anything I can do to help her. We were at a camp together recently and sometimes she just wouldn't show up to meals, when she did it was really hard for her. I tried to get her to eat something, and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. Has anyone been in this position, and what did you do? If anyone had an eating disorder, what were things people did for you that helped or were nice? I want to help her but I don't know how since I've never had an eating disorder. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted August 21 Digital Mentor Share Posted August 21 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Disordered Eating Click this notice to reveal the content. 9 hours ago, Hawthorne11 said: Hey guys, first off, wow it's been a long time since I've been on! It's cool to see some familiar names. So I have a friend who has an eating disorder. It started fairly recently, and she's getting help, but I want to know if there is anything I can do to help her. We were at a camp together recently and sometimes she just wouldn't show up to meals, when she did it was really hard for her. I tried to get her to eat something, and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. Has anyone been in this position, and what did you do? If anyone had an eating disorder, what were things people did for you that helped or were nice? I want to help her but I don't know how since I've never had an eating disorder. Hi there @Hawthorne11, welcome back. It's great to have you back on the forum again ! Thanks so much for reaching out. You sound like a very caring friend and I think by just letting being there for your friend you are already making a big difference. I'm really glad to hear that your friend is getting help. That's the most important thing. Do you know what kind of eating disorder your friend has? If so, you might find it helpful to read up or even contact a helpline to find out more about it. The more you know about it, the better you might be able to relate and understand your friend. What do you think? My suggestion would be to be there for your friend (like you have been) and keep hanging out with her. If you can, try not to let the eating disorder become the focus of your friendship. Reason being that your friend is most likely already overly focussed on food and weight issues. If you spend time with her doing other things and talking about other stuff, this might help her to focus on other things again. The same when you're eating together- if you can try not to focus on what she is or isn't eating. I know it's difficult because you are worried about your friend and you want her to eat and be healthy. However, mealtimes are going to be tough for her - so if you can take her mind off things that might be the best way you can support her. How does all this sound? Also, how is all of this for you? It can be really hard for us when we worry about someone we care about. Please know that we are here for you. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawthorne11 Posted August 21 Author Share Posted August 21 Thank you, that is really helpful. It's really scary. I hate it when she's struggling. I wish I could take it away. And it also made me realise how scared my friends were when I was having a hard time. So that's kind of weird. Now I'm like shit I can't do that again, it sucks for everyone else too! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted August 27 Digital Mentor Share Posted August 27 On 8/21/2024 at 5:46 PM, Hawthorne11 said: Thank you, that is really helpful. It's really scary. I hate it when she's struggling. I wish I could take it away. And it also made me realise how scared my friends were when I was having a hard time. So that's kind of weird. Now I'm like shit I can't do that again, it sucks for everyone else too! I'm sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to you. I swapped my days round last week and I wasn't online for a few days. I can imagine that this must be really scary. It's really tough when we are worried about a friend. especially when there isn't a quick solution to their problem. Please know though that you are being a great friend and by just being there for her, you are already making a big difference. Do you mind me asking, what kind of help your friend is getting with her eating disorder? It's interesting what you described about realising how scared your friends must have been when you were having a hard time. Sometimes when we see something from a different perspective it does make us realise things we hadn't considered before. I noticed that you said that you can't do that again. Can I ask, what you mean by that? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawthorne11 Posted August 27 Author Share Posted August 27 7 hours ago, Aurora said: I'm sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to you. I swapped my days round last week and I wasn't online for a few days. I can imagine that this must be really scary. It's really tough when we are worried about a friend. especially when there isn't a quick solution to their problem. Please know though that you are being a great friend and by just being there for her, you are already making a big difference. Do you mind me asking, what kind of help your friend is getting with her eating disorder? It's interesting what you described about realising how scared your friends must have been when you were having a hard time. Sometimes when we see something from a different perspective it does make us realise things we hadn't considered before. I noticed that you said that you can't do that again. Can I ask, what you mean by that? She said she had an appointment so try to e Emily Project. I don’t know much else because I didn’t want to pry. I don’t want to make other people feel the way I feel about her again. So I can’t feel like that again. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted August 29 Digital Mentor Share Posted August 29 On 8/27/2024 at 7:07 PM, Hawthorne11 said: She said she had an appointment so try to e Emily Project. I don’t know much else because I didn’t want to pry. I don’t want to make other people feel the way I feel about her again. So I can’t feel like that again. That's Ok if you didn't want to ask for anymore details. I just wanted to check how much support your friend is getting as this might help you to feel a bit less worried about your friend. Knowing that she is getting professional help can be really reassuring in this situation. How have things been with your friend the last few days? It's really thoughtful of you to not want to make other people worry about you, the way you are worrying about your friend. However, and I hope you don't mind me saying this, I am wondering how that would work. Our mental health (a bit like our physical health) will go up and down throughout our lives and we can't always predict how we are going to feel. Do you mind me asking, how you are planning on stopping yourself from feeling like this again (please don't feel you have to answer if you don't want to)? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawthorne11 Posted September 8 Author Share Posted September 8 My plan was kind of to just ignore it lol MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted September 10 Digital Mentor Share Posted September 10 On 9/8/2024 at 10:00 PM, Hawthorne11 said: My plan was kind of to just ignore it lol Do you think that will work? If not, would you like us to try and figure out together what might help early on? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawthorne11 Posted September 11 Author Share Posted September 11 I'm not sure if it will work. I'm really trying to stay positive this year, and focus on things that don't make me feel bad. Of course there will always be things that aren't happy, but not dwelling on those too much is important. For now, I think I'm just going to try that. But thank you! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Lennie Posted September 11 Digital Mentor Share Posted September 11 6 hours ago, Hawthorne11 said: I'm not sure if it will work. I'm really trying to stay positive this year, and focus on things that don't make me feel bad. Of course there will always be things that aren't happy, but not dwelling on those too much is important. For now, I think I'm just going to try that. But thank you! Hi @Hawthorne11 -- staying positive and not dwelling on things that bring you down sounds like a good approach to take. Of course, if things do begin to bother you at any point, we are always here if you'd like to talk about it. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawthorne11 Posted September 13 Author Share Posted September 13 On 9/11/2024 at 1:43 AM, Lennie said: Hi @Hawthorne11 -- staying positive and not dwelling on things that bring you down sounds like a good approach to take. Of course, if things do begin to bother you at any point, we are always here if you'd like to talk about it. Thank you. This is a really great platform. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Lennie Posted September 16 Digital Mentor Share Posted September 16 On 9/13/2024 at 8:18 PM, Hawthorne11 said: Thank you. This is a really great platform. No problem. We are here for you MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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