I think I just messed up bad

[Aurora]

16 hours ago, -Aussie- said:

honestly not good, I feel really bad and guilty. Its not just about the problem with my friend. that's the man part but its something else bothering me too. 

 I feel like I shouldn't have to make that choice but I don't know what else to do....

Hi @-Aussie-, I am so sorry to hear that your friend has put you in this position. I can hear how conflicted you are - on the one hand you know that you have done the right thing by telling him that you can't chose but on the other hand you really don't want to lose your friend. That is really tough and I feel for you . Can I ask, what advice would you give to a friend who was in the same position as you? 

Also, I noticed that you mentioned that something else is bothering you. Would you like to talk about it? No pressure of course! But please know that we are here for you if you do want to talk about it. 

[-Aussie-]

5 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi @-Aussie-, I am so sorry to hear that your friend has put you in this position. I can hear how conflicted you are - on the one hand you know that you have done the right thing by telling him that you can't chose but on the other hand you really don't want to lose your friend. That is really tough and I feel for you . Can I ask, what advice would you give to a friend who was in the same position as you? 

Also, I noticed that you mentioned that something else is bothering you. Would you like to talk about it? No pressure of course! But please know that we are here for you if you do want to talk about it. 

i feel like if it were a friend i would be there for them. I dont know what i would tell them but i would just be there for them to lean on me. 

We can me and Lennie talked about it some in a personal message thing (I don't know what its called but I know its not cs) 

[Luie]

15 hours ago, -Aussie- said:

i feel like if it were a friend i would be there for them. I dont know what i would tell them but i would just be there for them to lean on me. 

We can me and Lennie talked about it some in a personal message thing (I don't know what its called but I know its not cs) 

 

Heyy @-Aussie-, I see why you’re feeling this way right now. It sounds like you’re really torn between wanting to keep your friend in your life and feeling guilty about the situation, even though you know deep down that you’ve done the right thing by setting boundaries.

@Lennie and @Aurora both brought up some important points, and I think it’s really great that you’ve been able to talk through some of this with them. I noticed you mentioned that if it were a friend in your position, you’d just be there for them to lean on. That’s such a caring and empathetic response, which says a lot about the kind of person you are.

I wonder if there’s a way you can show yourself that same kindness. Maybe try to think about what you would say to yourself if you were on the outside looking in (I know it's not easier said than done btw). You’ve been doing your best to navigate a really tricky situation, and it’s okay to give yourself some credit for that. How does this sound to you?

You also mentioned that something else is bothering you. If you feel up to it, I’m here to listen. Sometimes just getting things off your chest can help a bit, even if it doesn’t solve everything right away. I am glad you and Lennie are speaking 1-1 on CS, I am online over the weekend if you need that space. 

Just wanted to check in though, how are you holding up right now? Have you had any more thoughts about what to do next, or are you still feeling stuck?

 

[-Aussie-]

On 8/17/2024 at 1:36 AM, Luie said:

Heyy @-Aussie-, I see why you’re feeling this way right now. It sounds like you’re really torn between wanting to keep your friend in your life and feeling guilty about the situation, even though you know deep down that you’ve done the right thing by setting boundaries.

@Lennie and @Aurora both brought up some important points, and I think it’s really great that you’ve been able to talk through some of this with them. I noticed you mentioned that if it were a friend in your position, you’d just be there for them to lean on. That’s such a caring and empathetic response, which says a lot about the kind of person you are.

I wonder if there’s a way you can show yourself that same kindness. Maybe try to think about what you would say to yourself if you were on the outside looking in (I know it's not easier said than done btw). You’ve been doing your best to navigate a really tricky situation, and it’s okay to give yourself some credit for that. How does this sound to you?

You also mentioned that something else is bothering you. If you feel up to it, I’m here to listen. Sometimes just getting things off your chest can help a bit, even if it doesn’t solve everything right away. I am glad you and Lennie are speaking 1-1 on CS, I am online over the weekend if you need that space. 

Just wanted to check in though, how are you holding up right now? Have you had any more thoughts about what to do next, or are you still feeling stuck?

he has just decided to forget it even happened and I'm not going to fight with him anymore.

Right now I feel like shit, sorry for the language but its just not a good time right now. 

[Luie]

4 hours ago, -Aussie- said:

he has just decided to forget it even happened and I'm not going to fight with him anymore.

Right now I feel like shit, sorry for the language but its just not a good time right now. 

 

I hear you, @-Aussie- It sounds like this whole situation has taken a lot out of you. Since he’s decided to move on from it, how are you feeling about that? Do you think this might help ease some of the stress, or are there still things weighing on you?

And when you say it’s not a good time right now, is there anything specific that’s making things harder, or is it just everything piling up? Sometimes it helps to break it down a bit, so it doesn’t feel as overwhelming.

 

[-Aussie-]

8 hours ago, Luie said:

I hear you, @-Aussie- It sounds like this whole situation has taken a lot out of you. Since he’s decided to move on from it, how are you feeling about that? Do you think this might help ease some of the stress, or are there still things weighing on you?

And when you say it’s not a good time right now, is there anything specific that’s making things harder, or is it just everything piling up? Sometimes it helps to break it down a bit, so it doesn’t feel as overwhelming.

I feel a bit better with the whole problem but i am kinda jus choosing to forget it too

its a lot of things piling up and the thing with my coach 

[Aurora]

9 hours ago, -Aussie- said:

I feel a bit better with the whole problem but i am kinda jus choosing to forget it too

its a lot of things piling up and the thing with my coach 

I'm sorry @-Aussie- - it's really tough when it feels like lots of things are pilling up on us. Please know that you are not alone and we are here for you !

You mentioned something about your coach on your other thread as well. Would you like to talk about it some more?  No pressure of course. Only if you feel comfortable to. We can also talk on confidential support if you would prefer that. 

[-Aussie-]

39 minutes ago, Aurora said:

I'm sorry @-Aussie- - it's really tough when it feels like lots of things are pilling up on us. Please know that you are not alone and we are here for you !

You mentioned something about your coach on your other thread as well. Would you like to talk about it some more?  No pressure of course. Only if you feel comfortable to. We can also talk on confidential support if you would prefer that. 

I'm talking to Lennie about it in a message thing. its just stressful and I hate it then my depression is getting bad again too so that's great

[Mestizo]

On 8/20/2024 at 6:12 AM, -Aussie- said:

I'm talking to Lennie about it in a message thing. its just stressful and I hate it then my depression is getting bad again too so that's great

Hi @-Aussie-. You might be addressing this already with @Lennie, but I thought I’d ask just in case. When you become depressed, what do you typically do to try to manage it? 

[-Aussie-]

7 hours ago, Mestizo said:

Hi @-Aussie-. You might be addressing this already with @Lennie, but I thought I’d ask just in case. When you become depressed, what do you typically do to try to manage it? 

No me and Lennie never talked about my depression. I never really do anything to manage it, I  don't really know what to do, I did relapse like 2 weeks ago but it is ok  now, I think

[Mestizo]

15 hours ago, -Aussie- said:

No me and Lennie never talked about my depression. I never really do anything to manage it, I  don't really know what to do, I did relapse like 2 weeks ago but it is ok  now, I think

Hi @-Aussie-. I’m sorry to hear about the relapse, but glad to hear that you are okay now. Being able to recognize that you are feeling depressed as manifested in youth thoughts, feelings, or behaviors is the first step in being able to address one’s depression. One can address one’s depression by addressing ones negative thoughts or engaging in certain behaviors that help improve ones mood or by regulating one’s emotions. Of course this is easier said then done, but they are known ways to manage ones depression. What do you think about these ideas? 

[-Aussie-]

2 minutes ago, Mestizo said:

Hi @-Aussie-. I’m sorry to hear about the relapse, but glad to hear that you are okay now. Being able to recognize that you are feeling depressed as manifested in youth thoughts, feelings, or behaviors is the first step in being able to address one’s depression. One can address one’s depression by addressing ones negative thoughts or engaging in certain behaviors that help improve ones mood or by regulating one’s emotions. Of course this is easier said then done, but they are known ways to manage ones depression. What do you think about these ideas? 

yeah most times I try to cheer up but other days it don't work. When I relapsed it got really bad like really really bad. I didn't know what to do so I didn't really do anything about it and I don't think that helped. 

[Mestizo]

1 hour ago, -Aussie- said:

yeah most times I try to cheer up but other days it don't work. When I relapsed it got really bad like really really bad. I didn't know what to do so I didn't really do anything about it and I don't think that helped. 

When the depression gets really bad how does it manifest in your life? In other words, does it primarily show up in the form of negative thoughts about yourself, does it manifest by you isolating, and or not wanting to get out of bed, etc?  

[-Aussie-]

7 minutes ago, Mestizo said:

When the depression gets really bad how does it manifest in your life? In other words, does it primarily show up in the form of negative thoughts about yourself, does it manifest by you isolating, and or not wanting to get out of bed, etc?  

most times I will isolate myself even if its not physically I will mentally do it and wont talk to anyone no matter who it is or how important they are to me. it maybe dumb but idk what else to do

[Mestizo]

22 hours ago, -Aussie- said:

most times I will isolate myself even if its not physically I will mentally do it and wont talk to anyone no matter who it is or how important they are to me. it maybe dumb but idk what else to do

I don’t think it’s dumb. I can understand why isolating mentally might be how you respond when feeling depressed. Depression has the ability to push us further into mental spaces that lead us to become even more depressed. When you find yourself doing this behavior, has there been anything in the past that has helped you break out of that mental space? 

[-Aussie-]

39 minutes ago, Mestizo said:

I don’t think it’s dumb. I can understand why isolating mentally might be how you respond when feeling depressed. Depression has the ability to push us further into mental spaces that lead us to become even more depressed. When you find yourself doing this behavior, has there been anything in the past that has helped you break out of that mental space? 

no, it has happened a lot at school and most times my friends try to help but most times it doesnt and I don't know what or how to help with it or like stop it from happening