Hey, everyone Im back

[-Aussie-]

1 hour ago, Mestizo said:

Thanks @Hazard for sharing your many thoughts and ideas! I’m glad you and @-Aussie- have connect. 

@-Aussie- I’m really glad you get to see your coach this week! They sound great and I’m glad they are there to support you. 

mhm, I would like to say me and Hazard are friends in a way...If I'm wrong I'm sorry....

Yeah, I know this week is going to be stress full though. 

[Hazard]

On 8/12/2024 at 10:52 AM, -Aussie- said:

mhm, I would like to say me and Hazard are friends in a way...If I'm wrong I'm sorry....

Yeah, I know this week is going to be stress full though. 

Not wrong at all!

Awww I hope your week isn't too stressful 

[-Aussie-]

16 hours ago, Hazard said:

Not wrong at all!

Awww I hope your week isn't too stressful 

its been okay, I did pass out at practice cause I haven't been eatting

okay I though I could have been wrong cause I didn't know if you though we were friends of not that's why I said sorry. 

Edited August 14 by -Aussie-

[Lennie]

49 minutes ago, -Aussie- said:

its been okay, I did pass out at practice cause I haven't been eatting

okay I though I could have been wrong cause I didn't know if you though we were friends of not that's why I said sorry. 

Hi @-Aussie- - I'm sorry to hear that you passed out, that must have been a scary experience. If you would like to speak with a mentor about this further on Confidential Support, then please do get in touch: https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/support

[-Aussie-]

1 hour ago, Lennie said:

Hi @-Aussie- - I'm sorry to hear that you passed out, that must have been a scary experience. If you would like to speak with a mentor about this further on Confidential Support, then please do get in touch: https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/support

I just struggle with eating and doing marching band for 8 hours a day does not help. All that really happened was I felt dizzy, layed down then I remember seeing my coach over somewere then it was like a time skip and I don't remember anything in between that. 

[Lennie]

3 minutes ago, -Aussie- said:

I just struggle with eating and doing marching band for 8 hours a day does not help. All that really happened was I felt dizzy, layed down then I remember seeing my coach over somewere then it was like a time skip and I don't remember anything in between that. 

Yes, I can imagine this must have been disorientating for you. As you say, 8 hours of marching band is going to require a lot of energy, so it's really important that you are refuelling. Otherwise, not only will this affect your health more long-term, but the fainting may lead to you falling over and hitting your head, potentially.

Did you explain to your coach what had happened and how come you fainted? And if so, what did they say? 

 

[-Aussie-]

14 minutes ago, Lennie said:

Yes, I can imagine this must have been disorientating forah you. As you say, 8 hours of marching band is going to require a lot of energy, so it's really important that you are refuelling. Otherwise, not only will this affect your health more long-term, but the fainting may lead to you falling over and hitting your head, potentially.

Did you explain to your coach what had happened and how come you fainted? And if so, what did they say? 

yeah, I know what it can cause for me, I just have a really hard time eatting cause it makes me sick. I have practice today so I'm not exticed about that. 

no, no one knows what happened. I never told my coach. all I know from it is I cant remember anything with in the time period of 5-10 minutes and then feeling very dizzy when I got up. 

[Lennie]

39 minutes ago, -Aussie- said:

yeah, I know what it can cause for me, I just have a really hard time eatting cause it makes me sick. I have practice today so I'm not exticed about that. 

no, no one knows what happened. I never told my coach. all I know from it is I cant remember anything with in the time period of 5-10 minutes and then feeling very dizzy when I got up. 

Yes, I can imagine practice must be a real challenge if you feel like you have low energy or dizziness. Given the risks, would you agree you need help with this situation? I know you have some reluctance around the idea of therapy, but would you agree this is a problem that won't fix itself?

Also, I previously shared some helplines related to eating disorder support - I was curious if you ever contacted them? And if so, did you find that helpful at all?

[-Aussie-]

4 hours ago, Lennie said:

Yes, I can imagine practice must be a real challenge if you feel like you have low energy or dizziness. Given the risks, would you agree you need help with this situation? I know you have some reluctance around the idea of therapy, but would you agree this is a problem that won't fix itself?

Also, I previously shared some helplines related to eating disorder support - I was curious if you ever contacted them? And if so, did you find that helpful at all?

I looked at them but cant contact any of them for home/parent reasons. 

yeah it is very challanging for me to deal with it. I would say I need help with it but I don't really want help cause I don't want to tell others nor do I know who to tell. I know this problem wont fix its self and it does need to be fixed and giving the fact we have competitions coming up it will really hurt me both physically and mentally.

[Lennie]

11 hours ago, -Aussie- said:

I looked at them but cant contact any of them for home/parent reasons. 

yeah it is very challanging for me to deal with it. I would say I need help with it but I don't really want help cause I don't want to tell others nor do I know who to tell. I know this problem wont fix its self and it does need to be fixed and giving the fact we have competitions coming up it will really hurt me both physically and mentally.

I'm wondering if you have a friend you trust whose phone you could use instead to call one of the eating disorder helplines. I'm assuming you're concerned that your parents might see your phone record, so is there an alternative phone line you could get access to instead?

I'm encouraged to hear you acknowledge that the problem won't fix itself. I know you must be finding this all very challenging, especially if you aren't yet receiving any support yet. So in terms of first steps, do you think speaking with one of these helplines could be a good place to start?

Again, please do feel free to reach out on confidential support if you would like to speak with us 1-2-1: https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/support

[-Aussie-]

2 hours ago, Lennie said:

I'm wondering if you have a friend you trust whose phone you could use instead to call one of the eating disorder helplines. I'm assuming you're concerned that your parents might see your phone record, so is there an alternative phone line you could get access to instead?

I'm encouraged to hear you acknowledge that the problem won't fix itself. I know you must be finding this all very challenging, especially if you aren't yet receiving any support yet. So in terms of first steps, do you think speaking with one of these helplines could be a good place to start?

Again, please do feel free to reach out on confidential support if you would like to speak with us 1-2-1: https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/support

I can try but I don't really have a friend who's phone I can use, yeah I am scared my parents will see my phone record 

I do have people who know I don't eat but they have never done anything about it.

Edited August 15 by -Aussie-

[Lennie]

4 hours ago, -Aussie- said:

I can try but I don't really have a friend who's phone I can use, yeah I am scared my parents will see my phone record 

I do have people who know I don't eat but they have never done anything about it.

I can understand that you might be worried about your parents seeing the phone records and noticing you have made these calls. In this case, would it help if you contacted a text-based helpline where you connected text messages rather than calls? If so, then some helplines offer this option (e.g. https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/eating-disorders/#what-is-an-eating-disorder-1)

[-Aussie-]

7 minutes ago, Lennie said:

I can understand that you might be worried about your parents seeing the phone records and noticing you have made these calls. In this case, would it help if you contacted a text-based helpline where you connected text messages rather than calls? If so, then some helplines offer this option (e.g. https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/eating-disorders/#what-is-an-eating-disorder-1)

sadly no cause I have a time limit on my phone and my parents look at my texts. 

[-Aussie-]

8 minutes ago, Lennie said:

I can understand that you might be worried about your parents seeing the phone records and noticing you have made these calls. In this case, would it help if you contacted a text-based helpline where you connected text messages rather than calls? If so, then some helplines offer this option (e.g. https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/eating-disorders/#what-is-an-eating-disorder-1)

I sent something and but it needs approval 

[Lennie]

16 minutes ago, -Aussie- said:

sadly no cause I have a time limit on my phone and my parents look at my texts. 

Ah okay, I see. In that case, is there any way that you would consider talking to your parents about this situation and explaining that you would like to speak with one of these helplines and get some additional support and advice? What do you think their response to this would be?

[-Aussie-]

9 minutes ago, Lennie said:

Ah okay, I see. In that case, is there any way that you would consider talking to your parents about this situation and explaining that you would like to speak with one of these helplines and get some additional support and advice? What do you think their response to this would be?

I think they will just eat food like I'm not struggling or anything like that.

I will say though when I am around them I force my self to eat so they think everything is okay

Edited August 15 by -Aussie-

[Lennie]

8 minutes ago, -Aussie- said:

I think they will just eat food like I'm not struggling or anything like that.

I will say though when I am around them I force my self to eat so they think everything is okay

But would you consider not pretending things are okay and instead tell them about the difficulties you're having?

Do you think that if they understood what you are going through they could help you get the support and treatment that you need?

[-Aussie-]

1 minute ago, Lennie said:

But would you consider not pretending things are okay and instead tell them about the difficulties you're having?

Do you think that if they understood what you are going through they could help you get the support and treatment that you need?

I would tell them but I really don't want to talk with them about something like this, and the only reason for that is cause I feel like they will just down play it like they normal do.

(I think that answers both at once if not sorry)

[Lennie]

9 minutes ago, -Aussie- said:

I would tell them but I really don't want to talk with them about something like this, and the only reason for that is cause I feel like they will just down play it like they normal do.

(I think that answers both at once if not sorry)

I'm sorry to hear that your parents have downplayed these issues in the past, I can imagine that being upsetting and frustrating for you.

Given that we agree that you can't work on getting better alone, I'm wondering whether you think it might be worth giving it another shot at explaining the situation. Perhaps if they knew that you had collapsed through not eating recently, they would begin to realise that this is a serious issue and that you need help.

What do you think? Would you agree that it's worth trying to speak with them again about this situation?

[-Aussie-]

2 minutes ago, Lennie said:

I'm sorry to hear that your parents have downplayed these issues in the past, I can imagine that being upsetting and frustrating for you.

Given that we agree that you can't work on getting better alone, I'm wondering whether you think it might be worth giving it another shot at explaining the situation. Perhaps if they knew that you had collapsed through not eating recently, they would begin to realise that this is a serious issue and that you need help.

What do you think? Would you agree that it's worth trying to speak with them again about this situation?

I don't know, I tend to fear what could happen cause of what did happen. 

I mean it could help but most times they think its not really important and they think that I lie to them about it. 

[Aurora]

15 hours ago, -Aussie- said:

I don't know, I tend to fear what could happen cause of what did happen. 

I mean it could help but most times they think its not really important and they think that I lie to them about it. 

Hi @-Aussie-, Aurora here. I hope you don't mind me jumping in while Lennie is away. It sounds like you have opened up to your parents before and they didn't respond the way you were hoping they did. Is that fair to say? Please know that if you want to talk about what happened then we are here for you (but no pressure at all!). 

I'm wondering, how do you think they would react if you asked them if it was OK for you to text or call a support line that helps with eating . You could explain that you would like more information on the topic to make sure that you are not developing any unhealthy eating habits. 

Alternatively, have you thought about asking your coach for some advice around this? It sounds like you really trust your coach and your coach might have a practical solution as to how you can get support with your eating. What do you think? Can I ask, is this your coach for the marching band or a different coach? 

[-Aussie-]

4 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi @-Aussie-, Aurora here. I hope you don't mind me jumping in while Lennie is away. It sounds like you have opened up to your parents before and they didn't respond the way you were hoping they did. Is that fair to say? Please know that if you want to talk about what happened then we are here for you (but no pressure at all!). 

I'm wondering, how do you think they would react if you asked them if it was OK for you to text or call a support line that helps with eating . You could explain that you would like more information on the topic to make sure that you are not developing any unhealthy eating habits. 

Alternatively, have you thought about asking your coach for some advice around this? It sounds like you really trust your coach and your coach might have a practical solution as to how you can get support with your eating. What do you think? Can I ask, is this your coach for the marching band or a different coach? 

I would say that's fair to say.

They would probably think I don't need that and nothing is wrong with me cause they used to say I would over eat and stuff but now the complain that I don't eat so I don't want to tell them. 

I have but, yesterday she was at practice and every time I was around her I got really anxious and when she even walked passed me I could stop shaking my anxeity got that bad and I ended up having an anxeity attack and she tried to help me but it made it worse and I feel like that made her upset. 

I do color guard and that's with the marching band so no she is not a marching band coach but she is a color guard coach. 

[Aurora]

On 8/16/2024 at 3:49 PM, -Aussie- said:

I would say that's fair to say.

They would probably think I don't need that and nothing is wrong with me cause they used to say I would over eat and stuff but now the complain that I don't eat so I don't want to tell them. 

I have but, yesterday she was at practice and every time I was around her I got really anxious and when she even walked passed me I could stop shaking my anxeity got that bad and I ended up having an anxeity attack and she tried to help me but it made it worse and I feel like that made her upset. 

I do color guard and that's with the marching band so no she is not a marching band coach but she is a color guard coach. 

That's interesting that they used to say that you would over eat and now they complain that you don't eat enough. I'm wondering, whether they might be concerned about your eating after all. What do you think? How do you think they would react if you texted a helpline without speaking to them first? I hope you don't mind us asking so many questions. The reason we are doing this is so we can try and figure out a way together as to how you can get the help and support you need right now. 

Thank you for explaining the situation with your coach a bit more. Please don't feel bad that your coach couldn't help you with your anxiety attack. It sounds like your coach cares about you a great deal and wanted to help you but didn't know what to do in that situation. Is that right? Do you know why you kept feeling anxious, every time you were around her? I'm just wondering, what caused your anxiety that day.

[-Aussie-]

2 hours ago, Aurora said:

That's interesting that they used to say that you would over eat and now they complain that you don't eat enough. I'm wondering, whether they might be concerned about your eating after all. What do you think? How do you think they would react if you texted a helpline without speaking to them first? I hope you don't mind us asking so many questions. The reason we are doing this is so we can try and figure out a way together as to how you can get the help and support you need right now. 

Thank you for explaining the situation with your coach a bit more. Please don't feel bad that your coach couldn't help you with your anxiety attack. It sounds like your coach cares about you a great deal and wanted to help you but didn't know what to do in that situation. Is that right? Do you know why you kept feeling anxious, every time you were around her? I'm just wondering, what caused your anxiety that day.

Its fine, I don't think I will do that though cause I have a time limit on my phone so I cant text. 

Well she usally does help me and she always helps me calm down but that that I was scared of her and I don't know why just when I was around her it made it worse for me. I don't know why it kept happening it just did. 

[Lennie]

5 hours ago, -Aussie- said:

Its fine, I don't think I will do that though cause I have a time limit on my phone so I cant text. 

Well she usally does help me and she always helps me calm down but that that I was scared of her and I don't know why just when I was around her it made it worse for me. I don't know why it kept happening it just did. 

Hi @-Aussie- - I do understand your concerns about the phone and your parent's restrictions, but I am also thinking that it would be helpful for you to speak with one of the support lines previously mentioned as a first step. Because as you said, you can't do this alone and we don't want you collapsing again.

Is there any phone available to you that you could use to either call or text other than your own? Whether that be a phone at school, a friend's phone, or even asking your coach if you could borrow their phone. Can you think of any options that would be available to you here?