I have no idea what's going on with me and it's kind of scary

[jason]

I've never been a traditionally masculine guy, but as long as I can remember I've been into girls (like, mad mad horny about it). I've had crushes on girls, a few of them really really serious (lasting at least 3 years or so). Recently, I started going out with a girl in a college major similar to mine, and I love it. However, I've also been questioning my sexuality for the last half year or so, which came out of nowhere after I started wondering if I would develop feelings for my roommate (who happens to be gay). I've started to notice attractive guys more often, and I'm more comfortable now admitting "hey, he's good looking." But this is usually accompanied by a weird flopping sensation in my chest and/or a weird feeling in my stomach, and I've noticed that I don't see girls in the same light that I once did. It's gotten to the point where this physical reaction happens every time I see a guy, even if I don't think they're good looking. I don't get a groinal response though; this happens when I'm with my girlfriend, or looking at porn featuring women. All that said, I'm confused over whether my sexuality is shifting, whether I'm straight up gay (which I don't think I am, but still), or bi, or just suffering from HOCD.

[Willow]

Hey Jason!

 

Welcome to the Support Forum, and thank you for sharing!

 

It sounds like you might, finally, have the freedom and opportunity to consider yourself on the rest of the sexuality spectrum.

 

It’s perfectly okay to have attraction for people. There’s many different types of attraction— and an unmeasurable variety of actions to take based on your attraction. And romantic and sexual attractions and desires do not have to go together.

 

Are there some actions you would be comfortable trying with guys? It’s really hard to know how to describe your sexuality until you’ve had experiences that help you know, for sure. And this time in your life is a beautiful one:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/8-things-know-questioning-sexuality/

 

 

-willow

[Remi]

Hey @jason ,

 

I agree with Willow that you may have just reached a time when you are more open to exploring the sexuality spectrum.

 

What makes you think it might be HOCD?

 

-Remi