What defines 'attraction'?

[fuxckgendernorms]

Hi! I'm a girl in my teens and have been questioning my sexuality for about a year now. No closer to a conclusion though! I see the word 'attraction' thrown around a lot in articles, and I'm a little confused over what attraction really is in this context. Is it having a crush, or wanting to be intimate, or something else? I am also confused abut my capacity for romantic feelings/attraction - I'll be fine with flirting and talking but when the other person gets more affectionate or the idea of dating comes up it always makes me recoil/lose attraction to the person for a time. This happens with girls and boys. Is this a sign of not being ready for a relationship or not having much romantic attraction? Thanks!

-fuxckgendernorms

[Willow]

Hey fuxckgendernorms!

 

You present a great question!

 

There’s so many different types of “attraction� and it’s all based in what you’re drawn to, and desire to have more of. There’s physical attraction (be drawn to someone’s physical body), emotional attraction (feeling an emotional connection with someone), intellectual attraction (feeling drawn to and compatible with a person’s intellect), sexual attraction (feeling a desire to be sexual, or explore sexually with someone), and romantic attraction (having a desire to be romantic, and build a commitment- possibly partnership- with someone).

 

Multiple of these ^ attractions can be combined with each other. And so when people use the word ‘attraction’ it might be helpful to ask them what they mean!

 

What do you find you want to come out of flirting?

 

When other people start showing you affection and having more expectations of you, what about that scares you?

 

Thanks, again, for your thoughts!

 

 

-willow