I'm being bullied by my friends. What do I do?

[a hurt kiddo]

Hello, I'm a 14 year old guy in a foreign school in Korea. I'm in the school play and I've worked months to get everything done and I have gotten up super early in weekends to go to school to rehearse, then one of my friends just dm's me that the trailer/teaser for the play was cringe and trash, and when I replied to him saying that most people don't actually think that for I had heard many compliments and nice things from people who had watched it, and the ex-girlfriend of the guy who dmed me was the main character, and he went getting pissed off at me for he was salty that his ex was doing so well in theatre, and called me a snake for telling her what I thought she would want to know because she didn't want to act for the teaser/trailer because she was scared that she would embarrass herself in front of him and that he would laugh at her and call her trash with all of his friends. Then because I dated someone a little less than a month after getting dumped by a different girl my "friends" went off calling a whore and said because I looked like a monkey, I was a "monkey whore". When I tried to talk to them about this they called me a pussy and said that we all insulted each other and that I better get used to it. To the others the worst they said was that one of them was short, but to me, they called me a monkey whore and told me to go "suck a banana" or "climb a tree, faggot!" I mean aren't friends supposed to build you up and cheer for you, not break you down and laugh at you? I don't know what to do, because if I tell a teacher or adult - beaten up and called snake then shamed, and if I stand up for myself - not a true man, and I'm to weak to endure a "little teasing". This isn't just teasing but I don't exactly know what to do.

[Remi]

Hey A Hurt Kiddo,

 

Welcome to our community, thanks for sharing this with us.

 

Firstly, congratulations on the play! You sound like you are really enjoying it and it’s really great to have creative outlets for our mental health and just for fun!

 

I’m sorry someone made fun of the trailer - from what you’ve said this might be a little bit more about some tensions in the other persons break up than anything personally to do with you, a lot of the time when people say unkind things, it comes from a place of frustration or unhappiness within themselves - so although I know it is tricky, but remember it is not your fault and you have not done anything wrong.

 

What we do need to deal with though is the unacceptable language they are using towards you - this is unkind and you are right it isn’t ‘just teasing’. I get that you don't want to be labelled a snake, have they been your friends before this? was there a particular incident that started this or have they always been like this with you? remember there is no correct way to ‘be a man’ - confrontation very rarely solves anything, if you feel able enough you could try telling them that their language is unnecessary and rude?

 

 

-Remi

Edited January 23, 2019 by Remi