Jump to content

do they deserve forgiveness


elizabeth (Bluey)    

what should I do  

1 member has voted

  1. 1. should I forgive these boys for bullying me?



Recommended Posts

These boys have bullied me in the past and now they are trying to be friends with me and I don't know what I should do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Digital Mentor
On 5/9/2024 at 7:53 PM, elizabeth (Bluey) said:

These boys have bullied me in the past and now they are trying to be friends with me and I don't know what I should do.

I think it would be helpful if you can give us a little bit more information about what they did in the past. Only if you feel comfortable to, of course. 

Staff-Account.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/10/2024 at 5:58 AM, Aurora said:

I thin it would be helpful if you can give us a little bit more information about what they did in the past. Only if you feel comfortable to, of course. 

Baisically I had a female accident in 7th grade and everyone picked on me for it but these people still call me "eliza-fish" they tell me that they think I'm awesome and one of their friends (this friend never bullied me but I know he is friends with them) has started calling me "beautifull" and is talking to another girl while he flirts with me at lunch.  I told another friend and they told me that these boys are making fun of me behind my back and I'm just at a loss of If I can trust them or not because of the way they treated me in the past.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Digital Mentor
16 hours ago, elizabeth (Bluey) said:

Baisically I had a female accident in 7th grade and everyone picked on me for it but these people still call me "eliza-fish" they tell me that they think I'm awesome and one of their friends (this friend never bullied me but I know he is friends with them) has started calling me "beautifull" and is talking to another girl while he flirts with me at lunch.  I told another friend and they told me that these boys are making fun of me behind my back and I'm just at a loss of If I can trust them or not because of the way they treated me in the past.

Thank you for sharing that with us. I am so sorry to hear that that happened to you 🫂. I can imagine that must have been horrible. It sounds like you are still being called names to this day. Is that right? Do you mind me asking, have you told anyone at school what's been going on? It's not OK that they are still calling you that. 

I can understand why you don't know whether to trust those boys or not. Especially as your friend told you that they are making fun of you behind your back. Is that something your friend witnessed ?

Let's say they genuinely want to be friends with you - would you want to be friends with them, after how they treated you? Do you think that is something you could move past? 

Staff-Account.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Aurora said:

Thank you for sharing that with us. I am so sorry to hear that that happened to you 🫂. I can imagine that must have been horrible. It sounds like you are still being called names to this day. Is that right? Do you mind me asking, have you told anyone at school what's been going on? It's not OK that they are still calling you that. 

I can understand why you don't know whether to trust those boys or not. Especially as your friend told you that they are making fun of you behind your back. Is that something your friend witnessed ?

Let's say they genuinely want to be friends with you - would you want to be friends with them, after how they treated you? Do you think that is something you could move past? 

  • I still do get called that to this day to my face but not by them 
  • I spoke to my theripist about this today and she told me basically the same things that im hearing from you (not a bad thing)
  • My friend had expressed concern but stated she hasnt seen anything from them but wants me to know that I should listen to my gut.
  • I think I would want to be friends with them because they seem to be genuenly nice but im scared its all an act
  • Ive always been a believer in second chances, I am willing to trust them until they give me a reason not to trust them
  • That nickname has no power over me anymore, people used that to hurt me and I let them win for too long and now I am a stronger, tougher person, and at the same time, I choose kindness every day because I don´t want anyone to feel the way I used to feel- alone and deppressed. I´m proud of the person I am today because I know that no matter what, you should always choose kindness because you truly have no idea the battles someone else is fighting
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@jazzy.sky I'd love to hear your thoughts but only if you feel ok with sharing them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Digital Mentor
On 5/14/2024 at 7:41 PM, elizabeth (Bluey) said:
  • I still do get called that to this day to my face but not by them 
  • I spoke to my theripist about this today and she told me basically the same things that im hearing from you (not a bad thing)
  • My friend had expressed concern but stated she hasnt seen anything from them but wants me to know that I should listen to my gut.
  • I think I would want to be friends with them because they seem to be genuenly nice but im scared its all an act
  • Ive always been a believer in second chances, I am willing to trust them until they give me a reason not to trust them
  • That nickname has no power over me anymore, people used that to hurt me and I let them win for too long and now I am a stronger, tougher person, and at the same time, I choose kindness every day because I don´t want anyone to feel the way I used to feel- alone and deppressed. I´m proud of the person I am today because I know that no matter what, you should always choose kindness because you truly have no idea the battles someone else is fighting

Thank you for explaining everything so well. Can I say, I'm really impressed how you have been dealing with it all and what you said here

Quote

I am a stronger, tougher person, and at the same time, I choose kindness every day because I don´t want anyone to feel the way I used to feel- alone and deppressed. I´m proud of the person I am today because I know that no matter what, you should always choose kindness because you truly have no idea the battles someone else is fighting

really warmed my heart ❤️❤️ You absolutely should be proud of the person you are today and we're proud of you, too @elizabeth (Bluey)

I think the advice your friend gave you about trusting your gut is really good advice.  Giving someone a second chance is a powerful thing to do and I get t he impression that you would probably approach being friends with them bit cautiously (at least to start with). Is that right? I would imagine that if you take your time and let the trust between you develop naturally, this will give you a good idea, whether they have genuinely changed or not. What do you think? 

 

Staff-Account.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Aurora said:

Thank you for explaining everything so well. Can I say, I'm really impressed how you have been dealing with it all and what you said here

really warmed my heart ❤️❤️ You absolutely should be proud of the person you are today and we're proud of you, too @elizabeth (Bluey)

I think the advice your friend gave you about trusting your gut is really good advice.  Giving someone a second chance is a powerful thing to do and I get t he impression that you would probably approach being friends with them bit cautiously (at least to start with). Is that right? I would imagine that if you take your time and let the trust between you develop naturally, this will give you a good idea, whether they have genuinely changed or not. What do you think? 

  • My mom and grandma both have majors in English so I think that's why I like to write so mutch
  • Thank you for your kind words. It most definitely was not easy but at the end of the day I was able to overcome it and come out the other side as a better version of myself
  • This friend is someone I always go to for advice because of how brutally honest she is and I know she will tell me the truth and won't sugarcoat anything
  • It's taking me awhile and from the way things are going, they seem to respect that very well. The way things are going with them, I'm starting to trust them more each day but still taking caution. Yesterday after my 6th hour they wanted me to walk with them (and I did). 
  • I'm taking my time and we'll see if they really changed or if they are the same bullies as before.
  • I'm more than willing to give them another chance because it truly looks to me like they have matured but looks can be very deceiving 
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Digital Mentor
20 hours ago, elizabeth (Bluey) said:
  • My mom and grandma both have majors in English so I think that's why I like to write so mutch
  • Thank you for your kind words. It most definitely was not easy but at the end of the day I was able to overcome it and come out the other side as a better version of myself
  • This friend is someone I always go to for advice because of how brutally honest she is and I know she will tell me the truth and won't sugarcoat anything
  • It's taking me awhile and from the way things are going, they seem to respect that very well. The way things are going with them, I'm starting to trust them more each day but still taking caution. Yesterday after my 6th hour they wanted me to walk with them (and I did). 
  • I'm taking my time and we'll see if they really changed or if they are the same bullies as before.
  • I'm more than willing to give them another chance because it truly looks to me like they have matured but looks can be very deceiving 

That's great that you enjoy writing so much - it sounds like you have inherited your mom and grandma's passion for writing 😊? Do you feel that it helps to write things down, when you're feeling stressed or worried about something?

You mentioned about coming out the other side as a better version of yourself. It's very admirable that you see it like that - it sounds to me like what happened isn't affecting  you anymore and that might be why you're willing to give them a second chance. What do you think? 

From everything you've been telling us I get the impression that you're handling the situation really well and very maturely. You're taking your time, not rushing into things and observing how they are being towards you. I can understand why you are feeling cautious and it's understandable that they need to earn your trust first, before you can fully trust them and commit to being friends with them. How do you feel about it all right now? 

Staff-Account.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, Aurora said:

That's great that you enjoy writing so much - it sounds like you have inherited your mom and grandma's passion for writing 😊? Do you feel that it helps to write things down, when you're feeling stressed or worried about something?

You mentioned about coming out the other side as a better version of yourself. It's very admirable that you see it like that - it sounds to me like what happened isn't affecting  you anymore and that might be why you're willing to give them a second chance. What do you think? 

From everything you've been telling us I get the impression that you're handling the situation really well and very maturely. You're taking your time, not rushing into things and observing how they are being towards you. I can understand why you are feeling cautious and it's understandable that they need to earn your trust first, before you can fully trust them and commit to being friends with them. How do you feel about it all right now? 

  • Writing things down does really help me when im stressed 
  • I think they have changed and they really care about me
  • I feel pretty good about it they are really trying to show they care
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It´s also important to mention how one of these boys has been flirting with me and calling me names like ¨Honey¨ and his ¨lil baby¨ 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Digital Mentor
On 5/17/2024 at 4:21 PM, elizabeth (Bluey) said:
  • Writing things down does really help me when im stressed 
  • I think they have changed and they really care about me
  • I feel pretty good about it they are really trying to show they care

 

On 5/19/2024 at 6:04 PM, elizabeth (Bluey) said:

It´s also important to mention how one of these boys has been flirting with me and calling me names like ¨Honey¨ and his ¨lil baby¨ 

That is nice that writing things down helps you when you are feeling stressed. It's the same for me. I also find that I can remember stuff much better if I write it down. 

It does sound like they have matured and are different to what they used to be like. Interesting that you've noticed one of the boys flirting with you. Do you think he likes you? How do you feel about him (if you don't mind me asking)? 

Staff-Account.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

33 minutes ago, Aurora said:

That is nice that writing things down helps you when you are feeling stressed. It's the same for me. I also find that I can remember stuff much better if I write it down. 

It does sound like they have matured and are different to what they used to be like. Interesting that you've noticed one of the boys flirting with you. Do you think he likes you? How do you feel about him (if you don't mind me asking)? 

I think he does like me but i am taking it cautiously because we hung out yesterday and they all wanted to spend time with me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Digital Mentor
On 5/21/2024 at 1:48 PM, elizabeth (Bluey) said:

I think he does like me but i am taking it cautiously because we hung out yesterday and they all wanted to spend time with me.

I think that's a really good idea to take things slowly. It takes a while to build trust again after someone has hurt or upset you and it's best not to rush things (just like you've been doing 😊). How are you feeling about it all? Is there anything else you would like to talk about or are you good for now? 

Staff-Account.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Aurora said:

I think that's a really good idea to take things slowly. It takes a while to build trust again after someone has hurt or upset you and it's best not to rush things (just like you've been doing 😊). How are you feeling about it all? Is there anything else you would like to talk about or are you good for now? 

Im feeling really good ive been walking with them in between classes and they are being genuenly kind twords me

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Digital Mentor
15 hours ago, elizabeth (Bluey) said:

Im feeling really good ive been walking with them in between classes and they are being genuenly kind twords me

That all sounds really positive 😊 If you like you can keep us updated and let us know how things develop between you and them. 

Staff-Account.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...