Trying to ask my crush to prom

[June_Bug]

So there's this guy at work I like. He's smart, funny, classy, attractive, etc. I've been planning to ask him to prom since like August (even before I had a crush on him), and I was supposed to ask earlier tonight.

This past yr, I've been focusing on myself and healing and growing and finding out who I am and stuff. I decided to ask him (let's call him Jose) not bc I thought he'd say yes, but bc I wanted to prove to myself I could do it.

Back to tonight: I have been anticipating and stressing about it all week and all of today. I stayed up late last night making a homemade card. He was scheduled to work w me today, but there was also a new girl I was training and there ended up being like 5 of us at the front so my manager said one of us could go home. The speed at which Jose rushed out the door was almost funny. But it meant everything had come to nothing. This was going to be like my one chance to ask him and now I'm faced w a dilemma. Here are some solutions I've thought of:

1) call him and do it over the phone

2) text him and tell him everything instead of trying to appear cool 

"Hey Jose, I wanted to ask you to prom tonight before you ran out the door. I'm not stupid. Ik you ignore most of my none work related texts, but I was going to do it anyway if only to prove I could. I think you are so cool in so many ways. You are smart and funny and talented and you can dance. I would love to have you go to prom with me, but it's also not the end of the world if you are inclined to refuse me. Ik it's crass to do this over text, but I never know when I'm going to see you again, and I don't want to wait too long bc I'm worried someone else might beat me to the punch, or it will be too late to really make plans either w you or a friend. I want to impress you bc you impress me, but apparently I care more about asking you to prom than my dignity seeing as I have sent something that's easily ignored. Even if this ruins my shot at looking cool, at least you can't deny my authenticity."

-I could also say something like this over call

I could find out when he has a shift and go talk to him, but he calls in sick kind of a lot so it's hard to know.

I never see him outside of work, but a friend suggested that I ask him to coffee and then do it. Ig that could work, but again, it's crass to do it via text and he ignores a lot of what I send him. (Again, ik he's probably going to say no bc he doesn't seem interested in even being friends, but I'm doing this for me.)

 

Suggestions? Comments? Advice?

[Luie]

On 3/2/2024 at 6:30 AM, June_Bug said:

So there's this guy at work I like. He's smart, funny, classy, attractive, etc. I've been planning to ask him to prom since like August (even before I had a crush on him), and I was supposed to ask earlier tonight.

This past yr, I've been focusing on myself and healing and growing and finding out who I am and stuff. I decided to ask him (let's call him Jose) not bc I thought he'd say yes, but bc I wanted to prove to myself I could do it.

Back to tonight: I have been anticipating and stressing about it all week and all of today. I stayed up late last night making a homemade card. He was scheduled to work w me today, but there was also a new girl I was training and there ended up being like 5 of us at the front so my manager said one of us could go home. The speed at which Jose rushed out the door was almost funny. But it meant everything had come to nothing. This was going to be like my one chance to ask him and now I'm faced w a dilemma. Here are some solutions I've thought of:

1) call him and do it over the phone

2) text him and tell him everything instead of trying to appear cool 

"Hey Jose, I wanted to ask you to prom tonight before you ran out the door. I'm not stupid. Ik you ignore most of my none work related texts, but I was going to do it anyway if only to prove I could. I think you are so cool in so many ways. You are smart and funny and talented and you can dance. I would love to have you go to prom with me, but it's also not the end of the world if you are inclined to refuse me. Ik it's crass to do this over text, but I never know when I'm going to see you again, and I don't want to wait too long bc I'm worried someone else might beat me to the punch, or it will be too late to really make plans either w you or a friend. I want to impress you bc you impress me, but apparently I care more about asking you to prom than my dignity seeing as I have sent something that's easily ignored. Even if this ruins my shot at looking cool, at least you can't deny my authenticity."

-I could also say something like this over call

I could find out when he has a shift and go talk to him, but he calls in sick kind of a lot so it's hard to know.

I never see him outside of work, but a friend suggested that I ask him to coffee and then do it. Ig that could work, but again, it's crass to do it via text and he ignores a lot of what I send him. (Again, ik he's probably going to say no bc he doesn't seem interested in even being friends, but I'm doing this for me.)

Suggestions? Comments? Advice?

 

Heyy @June_Bug, thanks for opening up about your situation with Jose. It sounds like you've put a lot of thought and effort into this, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling a mix of emotions right now. It's commendable that you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to ask him to prom. Taking such a step requires courage, and regardless of the outcome, it's a testament to your growth and self-discovery journey 

It's unfortunate that your initial plan didn't pan out as expected due to work circumstances. However, it's great that you're considering alternative ways to approach the situation. Each of the options you've listed has its pros and cons, and it's important to consider what feels most authentic and comfortable for you, I'm just going to go through each of the options you've mentioned. 

Firstly, calling or texting him might provide you with an opportunity to express yourself without the pressure of face-to-face interaction p.s. your message is heartfelt and genuine, and it's important to convey your feelings in a way that feels true to yourself, regardless of the medium. As for finding the right time to talk to him in person, it can be challenging, especially considering his unpredictable work schedule. Asking him out for coffee could be a good idea, as it provides a more relaxed setting for conversation. If he's consistently unavailable or unresponsive, it might be a sign to reassess your approach and focus on your own well-being. 

Also, what matters most is that you've taken a brave step forward and honoured your own feelings and intentions. Regardless of the outcome, you should be proud of yourself for being vulnerable and honest, I know I am! 

How do you feel about each of the options you've considered? Is there one that resonates with you more than the others?

 

[June_Bug]

Thank you for the support and advice, but I decided it would be best for both of us for me not to ask. Even if he had said yes, I'm not in a place where it would be a good idea to date so it would have only ended in heartache.

Instead I'm going w a good friend and we're going to have a blast :)

[Luie]

On 3/14/2024 at 5:06 PM, June_Bug said:

Thank you for the support and advice, but I decided it would be best for both of us for me not to ask. Even if he had said yes, I'm not in a place where it would be a good idea to date so it would have only ended in heartache.

Instead I'm going w a good friend and we're going to have a blast :)

Heyy @June_Bug,  it sounds like you've made a thoughtful decision that's right for you, and I admire your self-awareness and consideration for both yourself and Jose. It takes a lot of maturity to recognize when something might not be the best idea, even if it's something you've been looking forward to. Going to prom with a good friend sounds like a fantastic alternative, and I'm glad to hear that you're focusing on enjoying yourself and creating positive memories. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends can make all the difference, and I hope you have an amazing time together!

If there's anything else on your mind or if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here for you. Wishing you all the best for a fun and memorable prom night would love to hear about it if you wanna share afterwards