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mom being invasive? wwyd??


swiftie_am_i? Β  Β 

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so, i may or may not have afore mentioned that i got into a big fight with myΒ  friends and part of it happened over text. at first i gladly handed over my phone to show her the texts. i also have an ipad thats connected to my appleid. my mom constantly checks my ipad now and it's rlly annoying. i talked to my dad about it but he said 'oh hon she'll stop soon' well it's been 3 weeks and she hasnt stopped. she'll ask me 'oh who's this' and i wont respond and she'll yell at me til i tell her. i get she's tryna keep me safe but it's crazy. today she asked me if i had a diary and i said no. she said maybe you should keep one and i said no thanks. i then overheard her talking to my dad and she was like 'oh yeh my frind was looking through her daughters phone bc i told her too and she saw yfgcyshgyu. she also looked through her diary and think gyjs git7tgughtugurby' she's invading privacy and it's making me crazy. i'm also no longer aloud to shut my door. UYGGHHHHHHΒ 

WWYDDDD

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i also have a lot of pent up anger from over the years so if anyonehas safe ways to let that out,Β 

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I'm sorry. This is hard. This is a fine line you are treading. On the one hand, you deserve your privacy, on the other, she is likely worried about something that happened on your phone. It's complicated bc it's very case sensitive. For example, if my mom did it I would be very annoyed, but I trust her so I probably wouldn't complain or I would talk to her about it. I don't know how well that would go down with yours though.Β 

As for pent up rage, may I suggest boxing and/or running. Or drums. I've heard that's helpful. Or just find a place where you can safely just scream.

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i know shes tryna keep me safe but nothings happened for 4 weeks and shes still constantly doing it. i talked to her abt it and she said "and ima keep doing it bc its my buisness too"Β 

BUT ITS NOT

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Oof. Altho, a month isn't really that long depending on the situation. You're right tho, not really her business. I will say this tho: I have taken protection for granted in the past. It's easy to be annoyed with it and want more freedom, but it's not always all it's cracked up to be. Again, I don't really know enough to say what you should do, but it's something to consider.

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ok thanx!!!

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On 2/25/2024 at 1:54 AM, swiftie_am_i? said:

so, i may or may not have afore mentioned that i got into a big fight with myΒ  friends and part of it happened over text. at first i gladly handed over my phone to show her the texts. i also have an ipad thats connected to my appleid. my mom constantly checks my ipad now and it's rlly annoying. i talked to my dad about it but he said 'oh hon she'll stop soon' well it's been 3 weeks and she hasnt stopped. she'll ask me 'oh who's this' and i wont respond and she'll yell at me til i tell her. i get she's tryna keep me safe but it's crazy. today she asked me if i had a diary and i said no. she said maybe you should keep one and i said no thanks. i then overheard her talking to my dad and she was like 'oh yeh my frind was looking through her daughters phone bc i told her too and she saw yfgcyshgyu. she also looked through her diary and think gyjs git7tgughtugurby' she's invading privacy and it's making me crazy. i'm also no longer aloud to shut my door. UYGGHHHHHHΒ 

WWYDDDD

Hi @swiftie_am_i?,

As much as I understand that your mom might feel worried about you and feels tempted to supervise you, I do agree that it is taking it a bit too far to read your texts and to be this preoccupied with what you've got going on without actually asking you how you are instead. I know some families do open-door-policies and whatnot, but at the moment is seems that you aren't getting any privacy anymore. I would also get suspicious of being encouraged to start a diary, only so that she could check it. Wouldn't it be easier for her to just talk to you and ask you how you are? Because surely this is making you feel like you're not being trusted and that in itself can cause you to want to do stuff she wouldn't approve of - just to regain some kind of structure. What do you think?

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4 hours ago, Duckie said:

Hi @swiftie_am_i?,

As much as I understand that your mom might feel worried about you and feels tempted to supervise you, I do agree that it is taking it a bit too far to read your texts and to be this preoccupied with what you've got going on without actually asking you how you are instead. I know some families do open-door-policies and whatnot, but at the moment is seems that you aren't getting any privacy anymore. I would also get suspicious of being encouraged to start a diary, only so that she could check it. Wouldn't it be easier for her to just talk to you and ask you how you are? Because surely this is making you feel like you're not being trusted and that in itself can cause you to want to do stuff she wouldn't approve of - just to regain some kind of structure. What do you think?

yeah, i think basically exactly what you said lol

Β it's annoying how i feel like i have no privacy any more. i tried to say something but i dont think she rlly heard what i have to say

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13 hours ago, swiftie_am_i? said:

yeah, i think basically exactly what you said lol

Β it's annoying how i feel like i have no privacy any more. i tried to say something but i dont think she rlly heard what i have to say

Hi @swiftie_am_i?,

Do you think you could ask her whether she trusts you or not? I know it can be a very blunt question, but it might make her remember that you haven't actually given her any reason not to. She might think she is being protective or maybe even considerate for picking up on things before they happen so to speak. It makes me wonder what she was like at your age. Surely she would not approve of someone for example reading her diary... But sometimes things get a bit muddled with modern day technology and I think this can make some parents feel out of touch and out of control.

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11 hours ago, Duckie said:

Hi @swiftie_am_i?,

Do you think you could ask her whether she trusts you or not? I know it can be a very blunt question, but it might make her remember that you haven't actually given her any reason not to. She might think she is being protective or maybe even considerate for picking up on things before they happen so to speak. It makes me wonder what she was like at your age. Surely she would not approve of someone for example reading her diary... But sometimes things get a bit muddled with modern day technology and I think this can make some parents feel out of touch and out of control.

yeh, i'll ask her

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On 3/1/2024 at 5:33 PM, swiftie_am_i? said:

yeh, i'll ask her

Hi @swiftie_am_i?,

How are things going now? Did you manage to have a chat with your mom?

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