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I am my families scapegoat, the one they love to hate.


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When I was a toddler my two elder brothers who are 9 and 7 years older tormented me. My childhood was isolated and lonely and then once I left home the gloves really came off and members of my family went as far as making false accusations to the police in order to get me 'out of the way' and to prove what a bad person I am. They are hiding their own lies and shame by bullying me.


The latest example is I have now been falsely accused by my own mother. It means both my parents, my stepfather and all three of my elder brothers (I am the youngest of four) have systematically tried to destroy my character.


I am 49 years old. This has been going on for nearly 50 years. I now have no family contact at all but do have great friends. I am lucky to be musically talented which has been my saviour. I honestly think my family were and still are, trying to drive me to suicide.


So finally, after holding this in for all my life I joined this site. Thank you for reading.

Edited by musica1
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Hi Musica 1


Welcome to our community. Thank you for sharing this with us, we appreciate that this may have taken a lot to write to us.


Family can be a very sore spot for a lot of us. Please know you are not alone in feeling ostracised by family. The bullying and isolation you received when you were young sounds very unpleasant and I’m sorry you went through this. It sounds like, as this has been going on for so long that maybe your family will not be able to change. does not always need to be who we share blood with. If you have, even a handful of good friends you trust they can often be a lot more supportive than our blood family.


It’s wonderful you have music to go to when you feel stressed, creative pursuits are brilliant. If you do ever feel suicidal, please reach out for help. I have included how to do so below.


Do you have any mediators that are friends of the family that could help with an intervention?



Realistically, you need to figure out how much emotional labour you are willing to give to the situation and be able to take a step back whenever it gets too much.



I have included an article about conflict resolution which may help you.





This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

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Hi Musica 1

I can relate to your experience. For similar reasons I cut ties with my family when I was 19 years old. I went as far as putting an ocean in between and have been the best thing I ever done. I am 43 years old now.

It was not easy and still isn't. I grew up thinking that my family was the most important thing and being catholic didn't help with the guilt of not being able to put up with them. As a result, I have always felt that I don't belong. But fear not. Along the line, I've found people who literally re-educated me and showed me what real love, affection and family care is like. I guess what I am trying to tell you is to not look back at the bad things your family have done to you. Instead focus on the helpers. They are out there and come in all forms from colleagues, partners, friends and even sometime from total strangers like the nice people in this forum. Chin up and onwards and upwards.


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