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[Keira6!]

I was in school and id just gotten an email from Ms deck that said i was able to get out early from school, but when i showed it to my best friend she said that she feels like Ms Deck if playing favorites. I feel bad for her because i get to get out early and she doesn't, so i can see where she's coming from. but i don't know what to do. whats even worse is my little sisters think i don't want to spend time with them and that i'm spoiled.

[Aurora]

On 11/28/2023 at 3:03 AM, Keira6! said:

I was in school and id just gotten an email from Ms deck that said i was able to get out early from school, but when i showed it to my best friend she said that she feels like Ms Deck if playing favorites. I feel bad for her because i get to get out early and she doesn't, so i can see where she's coming from. but i don't know what to do. whats even worse is my little sisters think i don't want to spend time with them and that i'm spoiled.

Hi there, thanks for reaching out. I'm sorry that your friend feels like your teacher is playing favourites and that your little sister thinks you're spoilt. It's tough when people say things like that to us. Would you like to tell us a bit more about what happened? You mentioned that you could get out of school early.  Did you ask to leave early and was there a particular reason for this? 

And do you know why your sister thinks that you are spoilt? Was there a particular reason why she said this to you? 

[Keira6!]

1 hour ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, thanks for reaching out. I'm sorry that your friend feels like your teacher is playing favourites and that your little sister thinks you're spoilt. It's tough when people say things like that to us. Would you like to tell us a bit more about what happened? You mentioned that you could get out of school early.  Did you ask to leave early and was there a particular reason for this? 

And do you know why your sister thinks that you are spoilt? Was there a particular reason why she said this to you? 

So Ms Deck had asked me if i'd like to watch my friends Alexa and Henry at districts for Unified bowling, but when i showed her the email she said she felt like Ms Deck was Playing favorites. My little sisters think i'm spoiled and that i don't want to spend time with them because I've been spending a lot of time with my best friend, Even when we do spend time together they still think i don't want to spend time with them.

[Aurora]

20 hours ago, Keira6! said:

So Ms Deck had asked me if i'd like to watch my friends Alexa and Henry at districts for Unified bowling, but when i showed her the email she said she felt like Ms Deck was Playing favorites. My little sisters think i'm spoiled and that i don't want to spend time with them because I've been spending a lot of time with my best friend, Even when we do spend time together they still think i don't want to spend time with them.

Do you think your teacher is playing favourites or do you think there might be a different reason why she asked you if you would like to watch your friends bowling? 

Can I ask how much younger your sister is? Personally, I think it's normal that we don't always want to spend time with our siblings but that we want to spend time with our friends, too. Do you enjoy hanging out with your sister or do you just do it because you feel you have to? 

[Keira6!]

2 hours ago, Aurora said:

Do you think your teacher is playing favorites or do you think there might be a different reason why she asked you if you would like to watch your friends bowling? 

Can I ask how much younger your sister is? Personally, I think it's normal that we don't always want to spend time with our siblings but that we want to spend time with our friends, too. Do you enjoy hanging out with your sister or do you just do it because you feel you have to? 

I honestly don't know,  i feel like she didn't know that Maryann (my best friend) wanted to watch as well. My little sisters Reagan(10) and Kassidy (about to turn 9).  its a little of both i like hanging out with them but they can get really annoying when they don't listen to me. And when we're with our grandparents they make us hang out together.

[Superlittleecho]

Hi there!
Just to warn you in advance, I am not good at short and sweet responses, so I'm really sorry that it's a really longwinded and wordy reply.
I also empathize quite often using my own experience as an example or anecdote because that's how I feel, express and explain best, but I know some people don't like that or find it helpful so feel free to not engage with my response if it doesn't feel comfy for you to do so.   

I would explain the situation to your friend saying that you think it is probably just because the teacher didn't know. Either way it isn't your fault so your friend shouldn't be angry or hold it against you. If they are upset just say something like 'I'm really sorry that this has made you upset'. Maybe make a plan for if something like this happens again. Maybe the two of you could ask the teacher as a pair why someone hasn't been included so that both of you can hopefully get agreed to attend and you will both have backup.  

Younger siblings are really difficult. When I was younger I was stuck like glue to one of my older brothers and would be pretty annoying. But that was because I looked up to him I think more than anything and as I got older I really started to value him and want to be around him more (we both got diagnosed with autism so that explains it a bit as well, as I was seeking out someone who saw the world like me).

I also used to get teased by my siblings about being the 'favorite' or 'spoilt' child when I was a young teenager before I got my full autism diagnosis especially. It didn't help that I had the most complex needs growing up as well, so mum would make allowances with some of my behaviors and spend lots of time explaining things to me, plus my maturity level and ways of reacting to situations, even now, is really different to theirs (the non-autistic brother especially). I think it was really hard for my brother who is also autistic but very late diagnosed to see other people, myself included, getting the support he would have benefitted from at that time in his life. So jealousy among siblings is really common, even without additional stuff like autism thrown into the mix. Do you think that could be part of why your siblings are calling you 'spoilt'?
Feel free to also say that isn't what is potentially happening as well as obviously I am only reading messages and don't live in your house, so you would know best. Also having more complex or even just different needs growing up than those around you isn't a bad thing, just felt like in case someone reads that bit and it seems a bit unclear. Everyone is different and difference should be celebrated and embraced! 

[Keira6!]

6 hours ago, Superlittleecho said:

Hi there!
Just to warn you in advance, I am not good at short and sweet responses, so I'm really sorry that it's a really longwinded and wordy reply.
I also empathize quite often using my own experience as an example or anecdote because that's how I feel, express and explain best, but I know some people don't like that or find it helpful so feel free to not engage with my response if it doesn't feel comfy for you to do so.   

I would explain the situation to your friend saying that you think it is probably just because the teacher didn't know. Either way it isn't your fault so your friend shouldn't be angry or hold it against you. If they are upset just say something like 'I'm really sorry that this has made you upset'. Maybe make a plan for if something like this happens again. Maybe the two of you could ask the teacher as a pair why someone hasn't been included so that both of you can hopefully get agreed to attend and you will both have backup.  

Younger siblings are really difficult. When I was younger I was stuck like glue to one of my older brothers and would be pretty annoying. But that was because I looked up to him I think more than anything and as I got older I really started to value him and want to be around him more (we both got diagnosed with autism so that explains it a bit as well, as I was seeking out someone who saw the world like me).

I also used to get teased by my siblings about being the 'favorite' or 'spoilt' child when I was a young teenager before I got my full autism diagnosis especially. It didn't help that I had the most complex needs growing up as well, so mum would make allowances with some of my behaviors and spend lots of time explaining things to me, plus my maturity level and ways of reacting to situations, even now, is really different to theirs (the non-autistic brother especially). I think it was really hard for my brother who is also autistic but very late diagnosed to see other people, myself included, getting the support he would have benefitted from at that time in his life. So jealousy among siblings is really common, even without additional stuff like autism thrown into the mix. Do you think that could be part of why your siblings are calling you 'spoilt'?
Feel free to also say that isn't what is potentially happening as well as obviously I am only reading messages and don't live in your house, so you would know best. Also having more complex or even just different needs growing up than those around you isn't a bad thing, just felt like in case someone reads that bit and it seems a bit unclear. Everyone is different and difference should be celebrated and embraced! 

I honestly feel like they are a little jealous of me because i get to spend so much time with Mary, and if i'm being honest i seem to have a lot more fun with her then i do with my little sisters

[Aurora]

On 12/1/2023 at 2:18 PM, Keira6! said:

I honestly don't know,  i feel like she didn't know that Maryann (my best friend) wanted to watch as well. My little sisters Reagan(10) and Kassidy (about to turn 9).  its a little of both i like hanging out with them but they can get really annoying when they don't listen to me. And when we're with our grandparents they make us hang out together.

Hi there, I can see that @Superlittleecho has already given you some great advice. How would you feel about talking to your friend about the situation again and maybe you can come up with a plan together for next time. How does that sound? 

Thanks for letting me know how old your siblings are. That is quite a big age difference. I think it's really normal that you want to spend lots of time with your friends and not as much time with your sisters like you used to. You're becoming more and more independent now and it's a natural part of growing up . You said that you do still like hanging out with your sisters from time to time but they can be annoying. Do you think it would be helpful to agree a time when you hang out with them (for example when you're at your grandparents) and that you also explain to them that you need time with your friends, too. They might understand it better, if you explain it to them. What do you think?