Jump to content

I'm not cis—coming out


Recommended Posts

Turns out, I'm not entirely a cisgendered guy. I know I'm not a woman, and non-binary doesn't entirely fit right either. But I don't feel 100% like a guy. I feel more like 65% guy, and 35% non-binary if that makes sense. So I guess that kind of means I'm a demiboy. Yesterday was the first time I actually said to myself that I was a demiboy. I actually came out to my friend before I came out to myself entirely. I was just sort of in denial of it. I felt nervous the entire time and my heart was beating hard. I know I'm a demiboy, and I know my friend would accept me, but coming out is always a hard thing to do in any situation. For a lot of my childhood, I was always trying to be somewhat hypermasculine. Not because I FELT masculine necessarily, but because I felt like I NEEDED to be masculine in order to fit in. But as I got older, I sort of came to terms with my actual identity and realized that I should just be myself and not worry about being masculine. For a while, I never really thought about my gender, but recently I started wondering if I'm really a man. And I felt a little more drawn towards non-binary. I didn't really care about what pronouns people used for me, and sometimes I felt like I didn't entirely fit in the binary. But I still don't feel like non-binary fits me either. That's why I decided to come to terms with my identity and I realized that I fit more towards being a demiboy rather than being entirely a guy, or entirely being non-binary (at one point I even thought I was agender). I do often suffer from imposter syndrome so I never really know my gender or even sexuality, but I feel like demiboy just fits my identity the best. For a while now, my pronouns have kinda been He/Him/Any and I feel like that sort of encapsulates my identity as a whole so I don't plan on changing those. Also I have like 10 different names I go by so I don't feel the need to change my name. I do plan on coming out to other friends obviously, but not any family members for reasons I won't get into.

I know this is a bit of a ramble post, but I kinda wanted to get this off of my chest and sort of solidify my identity.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...