I'm in love with a boy I can't have

[Nicole]

I met him at a two-week summer law seminar, and we hung out and flirted for the first week and a half. We'd spend an hour every night in the library just talking, we'd go into town and walk around together, and we'd flirt over text. Then, with only a few days left, he finally lets slip that he has a girlfriend back home (we live several states away).

When we left I went to go say goodbye and we just kind of stood there, neither one of us was sure what to do. We ended up doing a weird high-five thing, and he told me to text him when my flight landed.

I did, and six months later, we're still texting at least once a week, joking around, talking about serious stuff. We've both had a hard few months and kind of checked on each other through it. And he's really sweet--he drunk-texted me once "It is weird that I know you the least, yet trust you the most?"

His girlfriend is really pretty (I've looked at her social media) and thin--and I'm a normal sized, decent looking person. I'm an eating disorder survivor so the voices are in my head comparing my body to hers and telling me that I'm not good enough for him.

I'm posting this because it's gotten really painful to think about him and text him when I know that we will probably never end up together, even though I'm pretty sure he likes me. I really want to tell him how I feel, but what good would it do? Plus, I'm worried I'm screw up our friendship. But our friendship is really just causing me pain at this point. What do I do?

[Remi]

Hello Nicole,

 

 

Big welcome to community, we’re really happy you made it here!

 

 

I totally understand why this situation is causing you so much stress. On the one hand you have obviously made a special with this guy but on the other he is currently unavailable.

 

 

Please, don’t compare yourself! I know it’s far too easy to want to go onto her profile and compare yourself to her but you just shouldn’t. She probably has her own list of insecurities and remember social media is usually the golden reel and not at all real life. It’s not serving you to look at her and it sounds like it’s triggering some old poor health habits for you. So I would recommend you block her and then that may remove temptation.

 

 

It’s hard because he is in a relationship currently, what would you want his response to be if you told him. Maybe working out what actually want from the situation will help you in working out what to do next.

 

 

I hope that helps, let me know what you think.

 

 

-Remi