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How can I handle a toxic "friend?"


Dumbfounded    

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I've been on the periphery of a friendship with another mom for approximately 15 years. Our children were friends when they were toddlers, so we have naturally been in each other's circle of life, especially in our small community. She has twice been very manipulative and deceitful, the last time actually hung up on me after verbally attacking my person. When I recognized her toxic vibes many years ago, I kept my distance. However, for several months now, she has directly reached out to me, and is now basically bullying me into meeting with her and/or calling her. She won't take no for an answer and continues to call and text with drama about how much I mean to her. I can see there is another initiative, which she is desperate to meet with me about. I don't trust her, and even though I've told her a direct "no," she continues to contact me with calls and texts. Our children are no longer friends (haven't been for at least 10 years), but we live in a small community and our teenage boys attend the same small, private school. I fear the consequences of what she might do, since she's many times proven she's not to be trusted. I fear the consequences she might bring to my son(s). I truly am dumbfounded.

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Hello Dumfounded,

 

Welcome to community.

 

It sounds like this is a very toxic friendship. Well done for keeping your distance. I would recommend blocking her phone number and letting her know that you are doing so and why.

If you have any fears for yours or the safety of your family then I would let someone at the school know and if there are real concerns then letting police know.

I’ve shared some articles about conflict resolution which I feel will help to read.

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/deal-friends-bullying/

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/speak-anyone-anything-conflict-resolution/

 

Remi

 

 

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