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I want to help my mom change


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I've recently gone to see my dad and his family and realised the kind of household I was living in. It's not like it's dangerous or anything, I just feel trapped. Anyway, my stepmom suggested that I help my mom get into a relationship with somebody. I do agree, I just don't know how to go about it. I don't really feel like I have freedom of speech when I'm around her. But I just think she's gotten so negative and doesn't have much in her life that lowers her stress levels. Just, do you have any advice on what I should do? I've suggested exercise, but she doesn't really want to. She does have a demanding job with not much free time though, so, i don't know. I do still care about her and want to help her get out of this negative ditch she's been living in for so long, I just don't know how.

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  • Ditch the Label Staff

Hello Ancient History Book,


It sounds like looking at your two parents lives side by side is hard as they feel so different.


It’s an odd feeling when you feel like you want to look after your parents, but it’s really sweet that you want to support your mum in making some positive changes in her life.


Could you suggest doing something fun together like going on a long walk, going to the cinema or a yoga class even? This might be an opportunity for her to open up to you and she might mention if she’s interested in a relationship or it might turn out that she’s happily single.


You also have to practice self care when supporting friends and family and remember you can only do so much and you have to live your life too. So make sure you do something nice for yourself too!


I hope that helps, have a read over these articles too - you may find them helpful/ inspiring!


https://www.ditchthelabel.org/parent-mental-illness/ - I’m not suggesting your mum has a mental illness but some of the parts this article covers could be really useful in helping your relationhip with her.


https://www.ditchthelabel.org/25-ways-practice-self-care/ - try some of these acts of self care, together or separately.


Let us know how it goes!


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