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I don't know what I am. When I was younger a friend of mine would watch Adult video online but I never looked at the girls I would look at my friend. Growing up all my crushes were on guys.i would lust and fantasize about them. Now as an adult I don't know what I am. Men turn me on physically but women trun me on emotionally. I have never been with a woman but I did try to hook up with a guy I know. And it felt wrong so I don't know what I am. Any thoughts

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Hey Croft85,


There's so much pressure to 'know' your sexuality, and even more pressure to have the 'right' sexuality. The majority of what we see in films/advertisements/magazines is a stereotypical heterosexual focus-- primarily physical attraction between a guy and a girl.


But attraction, as you know, is not that simple!


Sexuality lies on a spectrum-- that's where you see what gender/genders you might be attracted to. Then, off of that, is a spectrum of how 'sexual' you are.


Separate from that, is a spectrum for who you find yourself romantically attracted to, and then, how romantic you want to be. Intimacy is really important for healthy relationships. Right now, it seems that you find guys more physically attractive, but the intimacy is important to you-- so you feel close to women. What if you developed a friendship with a guy who you were both physically and emotionally attracted to? Would that tick all the boxes?


You mention it feeling 'wrong' when you tried hooking up with a guy... what about it felt wrong? What kinds of worries came up in the moment, and after?


Here's a thread that has some resources about exploration, and other Community members sharing their journey.. It might be helpful, too!





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