How to deal with homophobic mom?

[GanseyCallsMeJane]

It was the last day of school and I really really liked her for a year(I go to an all girls school)She came over.We ended up making out.It was a perfect day but my mom heard us apparently and now she’s calling my sexuality a psychological aberration and saying that it has the potential to destroy all my hopes and dreams.I still have six months more of staying at home before I leave for college and well I really really like the girl but of course the relationship is definitely out of question at the moment.I have a supportive best friend and I don’t want to have to tell the girl cuz I don’t want to hurt the memory for her or freak her out.So I guess this is the only place I’m talking about this.I just need supportive words to get through this.What hurts me is that my mom ,of all people, is like this.I know I’m not wrong to love who I want but there’s still this tiny part of me-the kid part-that things my mommy is supposed to guide me and be there for me,now my greatest fear is to not end up like her.I don’t regret kissing my girl I just wish my mom hadn’t heard.Im from conservative India and well,a small town and still seventeen for two more months.I just need supportive words and maybe for you guys to just tell me,reaffirm that it’s okay to love whoever I want cuz I know that I just need someone to confirm it.

Sorry,I’m ranting but this is the greatest crisis I’ve been in and I have exams-big future deciding exams so I can’t really be distracted by this and need to vent it out

[Willow]

Hey GanseyCallsMeJane,

 

Welcome! So happy you felt this was a safe place you could come to.

 

That's incredible that you were able to have this connection with a person you like! How was the experience for you and her? Is she happy with everything that happened?

 

It's unfortunate your mom heard... and that she doesn't support this part of you.

 

You are right in that we will support you being your most authentic self. Your mom is worried about your sexuality causing hurt to you-- but you are not hurting anyone-- definitely not yourself, through this self-love.

 

Maybe you could sit down and educate your mom about the things she may not understand. And then, bring it around to you sharing that you would hope that she would love you no matter what, and support you in any kind of relationship you'd want. Maybe the least you could do is negotiate about what you will/won't do in the house you are sharing...

 

Here's an article about talking to people about anything:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/speak-anyone-anything-conflict-resolution/

 

-willow