lbgtq ppl in college pls answer

[ellie___]

hey!! i've been looking at colleges and bc i'm gay i've been worried about going to a small school bc there won't be enough other gay ppl to have dating options. i also rlly want to join a sorority but from what i've heard they're not the friendliest to gay ppl. any gay ppl in college pls pls give me ur advice and experiences as far as what kinds of places/environments are friendly, which ones aren't, etc. tysm!! 

[Luie]

Heyy @ellie___, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. I see that you're new to our platform and I wanted to say a massive welcome! Super awesome having you join our community. You can start conversations like this or even join other topics on the forums option. We also offer one to one support if you'd prefer that, if you click on 'Confidential Support' in the top bar next to blogs, you can send a request and one of the support mentors will get back to you. 

[Luie]

On 8/13/2023 at 3:43 AM, ellie___ said:

hey!! i've been looking at colleges and bc i'm gay i've been worried about going to a small school bc there won't be enough other gay ppl to have dating options. i also rlly want to join a sorority but from what i've heard they're not the friendliest to gay ppl. any gay ppl in college pls pls give me ur advice and experiences as far as what kinds of places/environments are friendly, which ones aren't, etc. tysm!! 

 

 It's totally understandable to have these concerns while looking at colleges. Your feelings are valid, and it's great that you're thinking about these aspects. I'd love to hear more about what you're looking for in your college experience. So what are some qualities that are important to you in terms of the environment and social scene?

It's worth noting that colleges, even smaller ones, can surprise you with the diversity and acceptance they offer. Have you given it any thought about reaching out to LGBTQ+ organizations at the colleges you're interested in? They could provide valuable insights into the inclusivity and supportiveness of the campus community just a suggestion. 

As for sororities, it's true that their cultures can vary widely. Maybe consider looking into sororities with a reputation for being inclusive and accepting. Have you talked to any current college students who are part of the LGBTQ+ community and have joined sororities? Their experiences could give you a better idea of what to expect.

 Let's explore your options together, how does this all sound to you?

 

[ellie___]

okay so for colleges rank and prestige is really important to me. i'm very much an overachiever at school and while i'm definitely not guaranteeing myself an ivy or anything (ik the college acception process is essentially a huge lottery) i definitely aim high as far as school prestige goes. but i want to make sure that every single school i apply to is a place i could actually realistically see myself at, and feeling comfortable which is why i'm worried about places like vanderbilt, which is obviously in tennessee, and georgetown, which is a jesuit school, etc. the same goes for all my other reaches, targets, and safeties, obviously. i def think i want to stay in the united states. 

i want a school that has a party scene. not a "party school" like syracuse or something (academics come first), but not a school where everyone is going to be locked up in their dorms over the weekend- or commuting home over the weekend. i want to be a part of greek life so i'd like a school that offers that and has a lot of options of different sororities to join (don't think bama rush, that's not what i mean), although it doesn't have to be one of those schools where EVERYONE is involved in frats or sororities. idk any irl gay ppl who r involved in greek life which is why i've turned to asking people online, bc its rlly important that my sorority sisters are accepting- and there's a difference between real acception and performative acception. 

i also want a relatively larger student body. firstly, i just want more people in general- that means more people to meet, bigger parties, and also if something goes down with a group of people or i just find that i don't rlly vibe with a certain group, there are lots of other people to become friends with instead of being stuck with a small class all four years- whether you like them or not- like high school. also when it comes to dating i have had an awful time in high school bc there's just so few options- 500 people in my grade times times an optimistic 5% gay women equals 25 whole people (24 minus myself) i could possibly date- narrow it down by closeted status, availability, mutual attraction, and compatible personalities and it becomes basically zero. i need a big student body population with a big enough critical mass to actually provide some options and allow me to meet different types of people- instead of winding up stuck in a circular situationship with someone i don't even like simply bc there's no other gay people at our school (def not based off of a true story). basically, i can't go to a college that feels like high school. my cousin went to wake forest and was a part of a sorority there, and told me it was "more high school than her high school". that's basically the opposite of what i want. 

[Duckie]

5 hours ago, ellie___ said:

okay so for colleges rank and prestige is really important to me. i'm very much an overachiever at school and while i'm definitely not guaranteeing myself an ivy or anything (ik the college acception process is essentially a huge lottery) i definitely aim high as far as school prestige goes. but i want to make sure that every single school i apply to is a place i could actually realistically see myself at, and feeling comfortable which is why i'm worried about places like vanderbilt, which is obviously in tennessee, and georgetown, which is a jesuit school, etc. the same goes for all my other reaches, targets, and safeties, obviously. i def think i want to stay in the united states. 

i want a school that has a party scene. not a "party school" like syracuse or something (academics come first), but not a school where everyone is going to be locked up in their dorms over the weekend- or commuting home over the weekend. i want to be a part of greek life so i'd like a school that offers that and has a lot of options of different sororities to join (don't think bama rush, that's not what i mean), although it doesn't have to be one of those schools where EVERYONE is involved in frats or sororities. idk any irl gay ppl who r involved in greek life which is why i've turned to asking people online, bc its rlly important that my sorority sisters are accepting- and there's a difference between real acception and performative acception. 

i also want a relatively larger student body. firstly, i just want more people in general- that means more people to meet, bigger parties, and also if something goes down with a group of people or i just find that i don't rlly vibe with a certain group, there are lots of other people to become friends with instead of being stuck with a small class all four years- whether you like them or not- like high school. also when it comes to dating i have had an awful time in high school bc there's just so few options- 500 people in my grade times times an optimistic 5% gay women equals 25 whole people (24 minus myself) i could possibly date- narrow it down by closeted status, availability, mutual attraction, and compatible personalities and it becomes basically zero. i need a big student body population with a big enough critical mass to actually provide some options and allow me to meet different types of people- instead of winding up stuck in a circular situationship with someone i don't even like simply bc there's no other gay people at our school (def not based off of a true story). basically, i can't go to a college that feels like high school. my cousin went to wake forest and was a part of a sorority there, and told me it was "more high school than her high school". that's basically the opposite of what i want. 

Hi,

My name is Duckie and I'm one of the support mentors. I find it really mindful of you to think about where you would see yourself fitting in in regards to college. I also like that you know what you want and know what would be best for you. It is so important to pick a college that actually practises what they preach and that you see yourself staying with. It sounds like maybe you need to go to a couple of open days and talk to some current students. How do you feel about that?

Can you gather the information and reviews etc from the schools you have in mind and do a pro/con list?