Fallen_Angel Posted July 28, 2023 Share Posted July 28, 2023 I've been talking to a bunch of guys before and whenever I do, I feel like I'm not good enough for them. Like with my ex. He's really handsome but I felt as if I wasn't worth his time. Even though he sent me a goodnight text every night, I still feel like I was ugly. I still don't know why, however. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted July 28, 2023 Digital Mentor Share Posted July 28, 2023 8 hours ago, El the Powerful said: I've been talking to a bunch of guys before and whenever I do, I feel like I'm not good enough for them. Like with my ex. He's really handsome but I felt as if I wasn't worth his time. Even though he sent me a goodnight text every night, I still feel like I was ugly. I still don't know why, however. Hi there, thank you so much for opening up about how you've been feeling and how you see yourself. I know it can be difficult to talk about and I'm really glad that you felt that you could open up to us. I get the impression that these feelings are really deep seated, even though other's around aren't doing anything to suggest that it's true. Is that right? Can you remember when you first started feeling like this? And can you remember a time where you felt happy with your looks and you felt like you were good enough for people. What do you think was different then? I hope you don't mind me asking all these questions. Please don't feel you have to answer them. I am just trying to understand your situation better and where these thoughts might be coming from. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen_Angel Posted July 29, 2023 Author Share Posted July 29, 2023 On 7/28/2023 at 6:54 AM, Aurora said: Hi there, thank you so much for opening up about how you've been feeling and how you see yourself. I know it can be difficult to talk about and I'm really glad that you felt that you could open up to us. I get the impression that these feelings are really deep seated, even though other's around aren't doing anything to suggest that it's true. Is that right? Can you remember when you first started feeling like this? And can you remember a time where you felt happy with your looks and you felt like you were good enough for people. What do you think was different then? I hope you don't mind me asking all these questions. Please don't feel you have to answer them. I am just trying to understand your situation better and where these thoughts might be coming from. You're good. Dw. I feel kinda better about myself when I wasn't in a relationship. And I started feeling this way, after my relationship with my ex. He and I are friends now, but maybe his breaking up with me, did something to me? Idk. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted July 31, 2023 Digital Mentor Share Posted July 31, 2023 On 7/29/2023 at 5:17 PM, El the Powerful said: You're good. Dw. I feel kinda better about myself when I wasn't in a relationship. And I started feeling this way, after my relationship with my ex. He and I are friends now, but maybe his breaking up with me, did something to me? Idk. Thank you for explaining a bit more. It's really nice to hear that you two are friends now . It's interesting to hear that this started when you two split up. If you like we can think about the reasons for this together? Breakups can make us feel vulnerable and we often think that it's our own fault, when someone splits up with us, even though there are usually lots of different reasons as to why a relationship doesn't work out. Do you mind me asking, how long ago it was that you two broke up and was there a particular reason that he broke up with you? Also, how would you describe your relationship with your ex, if you don't mind me asking? And can you think of anything positive that came out of you two breaking up? Again please don't feel you have to answer all of my questions if you don't feel comfortable to and please let me know if you would prefer to talk about this on confidential support. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen_Angel Posted July 31, 2023 Author Share Posted July 31, 2023 5 hours ago, Aurora said: Thank you for explaining a bit more. It's really nice to hear that you two are friends now . It's interesting to hear that this started when you two split up. If you like we can think about the reasons for this together? Breakups can make us feel vulnerable and we often think that it's our own fault, when someone splits up with us, even though there are usually lots of different reasons as to why a relationship doesn't work out. Do you mind me asking, how long ago it was that you two broke up and was there a particular reason that he broke up with you? Also, how would you describe your relationship with your ex, if you don't mind me asking? And can you think of anything positive that came out of you two breaking up? Again please don't feel you have to answer all of my questions if you don't feel comfortable to and please let me know if you would prefer to talk about this on confidential support. He broke up with me because he was polyamorous and I'm monogamous. Apparently, after we broke up, started dating multiple people so I don't think he was lying but I kinda felt a little worthless. We broke up about 1 year if I'm correct. And for our relationship right now, we still talk a little bit and we've created a friendship together. So I think that the positive would be we created a pretty good friendship ig. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted August 1, 2023 Digital Mentor Share Posted August 1, 2023 16 hours ago, El the Powerful said: He broke up with me because he was polyamorous and I'm monogamous. Apparently, after we broke up, started dating multiple people so I don't think he was lying but I kinda felt a little worthless. We broke up about 1 year if I'm correct. And for our relationship right now, we still talk a little bit and we've created a friendship together. So I think that the positive would be we created a pretty good friendship ig. It's really great that you've been able to create a friendship together. Can I ask if you just like him as a friend or do you still have stronger feelings for him? It sounds like you wanted different things from the relationship and I can understand why things didn't work out. I think it's good that you could both be so open with each other and communicate what's important to you in a relationship. Sometimes people try to change their beliefs or needs in order to stay in a relationship but this usually doesn't work out in the long run. Unfortunately, feelings of worthlessness are really common after a breakup but I can reassure you that you won't always feel like this. I think deep down we feel rejected and often assume that it must be something to do with us as a person - even though there are usually other circumstances why a relationship doesn't work out. What can be helpful is to focus on our self and our well being after a break up. What do you think? This might feel a bit awkward but can you tell me a bit about the things you like about yourself? For example I've noticed that you seem to be a very caring and thoughtful person. You also strike me as forgiving as you've been able to create a friendship with your ex, which is not an easy thing to do. These are all great qualities to have MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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