Hazard Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 On 1/27/2024 at 3:05 PM, TheForeverBroken said: I thought you hated me, or was angry with me or something.. I didn’t contact you bc I thought you didn’t want to. It takes a lot for me to hate somebody, or be angry with someone. And if I was, you'd know, because every other one of my posts would have some dig at you. How are you? 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted January 30 Digital Mentor Share Posted January 30 On 1/27/2024 at 10:05 PM, TheForeverBroken said: I thought you hated me, or was angry with me or something.. I didn’t contact you bc I thought you didn’t want to. Idk..up to you, idk if I feel like talking about it. Thanks for your reply. No worries if you don't feel like talking about it - no pressure at all! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyotea Posted February 5 Author Share Posted February 5 On 1/29/2024 at 10:54 AM, Emberfrost12 said: It takes a lot for me to hate somebody, or be angry with someone. And if I was, you'd know, because every other one of my posts would have some dig at you. How are you? Hm.. I’m shitty MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyotea Posted February 5 Author Share Posted February 5 (edited) So, for a while now my heart will do weird things, it will get randomly fast and sometimes it gets really slow, I usually end up, faint/dizzy like I’m gonna pass out (including me fainting a number of time), feel a pressure or buzzing in my chest, trouble breathing, it doesn’t happen all the time but it happens enough for me to be worried. I might have a heart arrhythmia, my brother’s (chosen family, not blood) mom has the same condition, and the exact same symptoms. Oh! but guess-fucking-what? I can’t do anything about it, I can’t get help. Because my parents know about the fainting episodes, the dizziness, the trouble breathing, but I’m not allowed to go to the doctor, because they think I’m faking or being dramatic, and they hate doctors, they think doctors are servants of satan. I want to get checked out, I do, and I know I should but I can’t because of my parents. I don’t know what to do, and I can’t try to medicate myself because that’s dangerous. Edited February 5 by TheForeverBroken MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted February 5 Digital Mentor Share Posted February 5 5 hours ago, TheForeverBroken said: So, for a while now my heart will do weird things, it will get randomly fast and sometimes it gets really slow, I usually end up, faint/dizzy like I’m gonna pass out (including me fainting a number of time), feel a pressure or buzzing in my chest, trouble breathing, it doesn’t happen all the time but it happens enough for me to be worried. I might have a heart arrhythmia, my brother’s (chosen family, not blood) mom has the same condition, and the exact same symptoms. Oh! but guess-fucking-what? I can’t do anything about it, I can’t get help. Because my parents know about the fainting episodes, the dizziness, the trouble breathing, but I’m not allowed to go to the doctor, because they think I’m faking or being dramatic, and they hate doctors, they think doctors are servants of satan. I want to get checked out, I do, and I know I should but I can’t because of my parents. I don’t know what to do, and I can’t try to medicate myself because that’s dangerous. Heyy @TheForeverBroken, It must be incredibly distressing to experience those symptoms, especially when you're unable to seek the medical attention you need. Your feelings of worry and frustration are entirely valid. It's a tough spot to be in when your health is at stake, and external factors, like parental beliefs, are preventing you from seeking help. It's important to acknowledge the seriousness of your symptoms and the potential impact on your well-being. Taking care of your health is a priority, and I'm concerned about the obstacles you're facing. Is there anyone at all you might have access to who can help in person for you or perhaps connect you with a healthcare professional? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyotea Posted February 5 Author Share Posted February 5 2 hours ago, Luie said: Heyy @TheForeverBroken, It must be incredibly distressing to experience those symptoms, especially when you're unable to seek the medical attention you need. Your feelings of worry and frustration are entirely valid. It's a tough spot to be in when your health is at stake, and external factors, like parental beliefs, are preventing you from seeking help. It's important to acknowledge the seriousness of your symptoms and the potential impact on your well-being. Taking care of your health is a priority, and I'm concerned about the obstacles you're facing. Is there anyone at all you might have access to who can help in person for you or perhaps connect you with a healthcare professional? Unfortunately no, I don’t have anyone. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Duckie Posted February 5 Digital Mentor Share Posted February 5 3 minutes ago, TheForeverBroken said: Unfortunately no, I don’t have anyone. Hi @TheForeverBroken, That sounds really concerning. So your mom has this too? Has she had hers checked out at some point, or how does she know she has it? I am asking this because it might be worth mentioning that she's once had hers diagnosed and that you deserve to have yours checked as well. I am so sorry to hear how much stress this is causing you. Understandably so. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyotea Posted February 5 Author Share Posted February 5 1 minute ago, Duckie said: Hi @TheForeverBroken, That sounds really concerning. So your mom has this too? Has she had hers checked out at some point, or how does she know she has it? I am asking this because it might be worth mentioning that she's once had hers diagnosed and that you deserve to have yours checked as well. I am so sorry to hear how much stress this is causing you. Understandably so. Tf? No. If you read my post you would see I mentioned the mother of my chosen family, not blood related. I didn’t mention anything about my mom having it. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Duckie Posted February 5 Digital Mentor Share Posted February 5 4 minutes ago, TheForeverBroken said: Tf? No. If you read my post you would see I mentioned the mother of my chosen family, not blood related. I didn’t mention anything about my mom having it. Calm down. I am wondering whether you can ask your friend's mom for help in navigating this. Would you be able to ask her what help and support she is getting for this and whether your symptoms are the same? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyotea Posted February 5 Author Share Posted February 5 3 minutes ago, Duckie said: Calm down. I am wondering whether you can ask your friend's mom for help in navigating this. Would you be able to ask her what help and support she is getting for this and whether your symptoms are the same? No, like I said, I have no one. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyotea Posted February 5 Author Share Posted February 5 (edited) This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Disordered Eating, Heavy emotion Click this notice to reveal the content. “You’re so particular about your food” ”You’re weird” ”At least I actually eat” IT’S NOT LIKE I WANT TO BE THIS WAY! I DIDN’T FUCKING CHOOSE TO BE THIS WAY/nbh Edited February 7 by TheForeverBroken MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted February 6 Digital Mentor Share Posted February 6 19 hours ago, TheForeverBroken said: So, for a while now my heart will do weird things, it will get randomly fast and sometimes it gets really slow, I usually end up, faint/dizzy like I’m gonna pass out (including me fainting a number of time), feel a pressure or buzzing in my chest, trouble breathing, it doesn’t happen all the time but it happens enough for me to be worried. I might have a heart arrhythmia, my brother’s (chosen family, not blood) mom has the same condition, and the exact same symptoms. Oh! but guess-fucking-what? I can’t do anything about it, I can’t get help. Because my parents know about the fainting episodes, the dizziness, the trouble breathing, but I’m not allowed to go to the doctor, because they think I’m faking or being dramatic, and they hate doctors, they think doctors are servants of satan. I want to get checked out, I do, and I know I should but I can’t because of my parents. I don’t know what to do, and I can’t try to medicate myself because that’s dangerous. Hi there, that does sound worrying and I can totally understand why you want to have it checked out. Especially if you suspect that it might be a heart arrhythmia. I can see that @Luie and @Duckie have already replied and I just wanted to add something. I'm just wondering whether you might be able to arrange your own doctor's appointment? If I remember correctly you are based somewhere in the US. Is that right? As far as I know the laws around this vary from state to state and in a lot of states the age of medical consent is 13, which means that once you are 13 you can independently seek medical treatment without your parents knowledge or consent. Is this something you might consider doing and have you looked into this already? If not, would you like me to look into this for you? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyotea Posted February 6 Author Share Posted February 6 3 hours ago, Aurora said: Hi there, that does sound worrying and I can totally understand why you want to have it checked out. Especially if you suspect that it might be a heart arrhythmia. I can see that @Luie and @Duckie have already replied and I just wanted to add something. I'm just wondering whether you might be able to arrange your own doctor's appointment? If I remember correctly you are based somewhere in the US. Is that right? As far as I know the laws around this vary from state to state and in a lot of states the age of medical consent is 13, which means that once you are 13 you can independently seek medical treatment without your parents knowledge or consent. Is this something you might consider doing and have you looked into this already? If not, would you like me to look into this for you? Yes, I’m in the US. However, I can’t make my own appointment either, I don’t have any of the contact info I would need, I’m unable to get to where I would need to go. My parents would definitely notice if I went missing, There is no way to access healthcare for me, trust me I’ve thought about it, but it’s literally impossible. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Duckie Posted February 6 Digital Mentor Share Posted February 6 12 minutes ago, TheForeverBroken said: Yes, I’m in the US. However, I can’t make my own appointment either, I don’t have any of the contact info I would need, I’m unable to get to where I would need to go. My parents would definitely notice if I went missing, There is no way to access healthcare for me, trust me I’ve thought about it, but it’s literally impossible. Hi @TheForeverBroken, I understand that you have looked into a bunch of possibilities and I'm sorry that you aren't finding a good way to see a doctor. How would you feel about doing an assessment over the phone, just to check for symptoms? Would this help in any way or not really? Another idea that came to mind is if you were able to get a ride into town and then have someone else (a friend or their parent/parents) drive you to the appointment. Would this be a possibility? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyotea Posted February 7 Author Share Posted February 7 11 hours ago, Duckie said: Hi @TheForeverBroken, I understand that you have looked into a bunch of possibilities and I'm sorry that you aren't finding a good way to see a doctor. How would you feel about doing an assessment over the phone, just to check for symptoms? Would this help in any way or not really? Another idea that came to mind is if you were able to get a ride into town and then have someone else (a friend or their parent/parents) drive you to the appointment. Would this be a possibility? No neither would work MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyotea Posted February 7 Author Share Posted February 7 It’s cold and I have riding lets hope I don’t hop aboard the crazy train MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted February 8 Digital Mentor Share Posted February 8 On 2/6/2024 at 1:47 PM, TheForeverBroken said: Yes, I’m in the US. However, I can’t make my own appointment either, I don’t have any of the contact info I would need, I’m unable to get to where I would need to go. My parents would definitely notice if I went missing, There is no way to access healthcare for me, trust me I’ve thought about it, but it’s literally impossible. That's a really tricky situation to be in! I noticed that you mentioned that your parents think that doctors are servants of Satan. I'm just wondering, is that the general view of the church you and your family go to? If not is there someone there you can talk to, who you think your parents would listen to and who could help you to persuade them that you need to have this looked at? Some parents won't listen to their children but are more open if the same thing is suggested by another parent/adult. Is that something you've noticed about your parents? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyotea Posted February 9 Author Share Posted February 9 15 hours ago, Aurora said: That's a really tricky situation to be in! I noticed that you mentioned that your parents think that doctors are servants of Satan. I'm just wondering, is that the general view of the church you and your family go to? If not is there someone there you can talk to, who you think your parents would listen to and who could help you to persuade them that you need to have this looked at? Some parents won't listen to their children but are more open if the same thing is suggested by another parent/adult. Is that something you've noticed about your parents? Again, as I’ve said before, I have no one I can go to about this, I’ll get in trouble for telling others. And, no, it’s got nothing to do with church. I do attend a weekly youth group but my family doesn’t go to church otherwise. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyotea Posted February 9 Author Share Posted February 9 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Other Click this notice to reveal the content. “Your father quit drinking! Don’t be so hard on him!!” Is that why there’s a case of beer in the fridge? Is that why he’s drunk 80% of the time? Or, do I suppose that the beer is for you? Or is it for me, A goddamn minor? He hasn’t been doing shit. I know for a fact. He never gave up drinking and he never will. He’ll poison himself until that’s all that is in his blood. He’s already poisoned the family. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyotea Posted February 12 Author Share Posted February 12 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Heavy emotion, Other Click this notice to reveal the content. I can’t open up to anyone, I can’t. I’m not allowed to feel, I’m not allowed. I’m not allowed. Because every time that I open up to someone, someone gets hurt. Whether it’s me or someone other than me or multiple people. All I do is hurt people. My existence hurts people. It would be better if I didnt exist MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Duckie Posted February 12 Digital Mentor Share Posted February 12 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Heavy emotion, Other Click this notice to reveal the content. 2 hours ago, TheForeverBroken said: I can’t open up to anyone, I can’t. I’m not allowed to feel, I’m not allowed. I’m not allowed. Because every time that I open up to someone, someone gets hurt. Whether it’s me or someone other than me or multiple people. All I do is hurt people. My existence hurts people. It would be better if I didnt exist Hi @TheForeverBroken, It sounds like you are going through a lot right now and that you feel you're not entitled to your feelings, nor to speak about your feelings. That sounds really tough and isolating, so I want to reassure you that we are always here to listen . Your existence doesn't hurt people But I can tell that you are hurting. I would like to talk to you on CS about this, but absolutely no pressure of course. You matter. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goldfish Posted February 12 Share Posted February 12 This post was recognized by Duckie! "It's really kind of you to reach out like this :)" Goldfish was awarded the badge 'Act of Kindness' and 10 points. Heyy @TheForeverBroken, I know I’m just randomly chiming into your own personal life right now, but I was just peeping around the ol’ Ditch the Label, as one does, and I came across, well, for lack of a better word, you. And you remind me of myself. A lot. I have had plenty of experience with feelings like yours, and I still do sometimes, but I’m getting much better. I’m a trans guy (mostly closeted because I live down south). I’ve had an eating disorder for the past few years, only recently am I beginning to get it under control, and I love writing. I plan on majoring in Creative Writing, and it’s my favorite form of self-expression and escapism. (Also I used to take horseback riding lessons too :) ) Anyways, I just thought that if you ever wanted to talk to me about anything, I would probably understand, or I could at least try to. (And yes, to any of the ogs who see this, I am back, and no, I did not die) MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyotea Posted February 12 Author Share Posted February 12 1 hour ago, Goldfish said: Heyy @TheForeverBroken, I know I’m just randomly chiming into your own personal life right now, but I was just peeping around the ol’ Ditch the Label, as one does, and I came across, well, for lack of a better word, you. And you remind me of myself. A lot. I have had plenty of experience with feelings like yours, and I still do sometimes, but I’m getting much better. I’m a trans guy (mostly closeted because I live down south). I’ve had an eating disorder for the past few years, only recently am I beginning to get it under control, and I love writing. I plan on majoring in Creative Writing, and it’s my favorite form of self-expression and escapism. (Also I used to take horseback riding lessons too :) ) Anyways, I just thought that if you ever wanted to talk to me about anything, I would probably understand, or I could at least try to. (And yes, to any of the ogs who see this, I am back, and no, I did not die) Thank you, that means a lot…I’ll take your offer into consideration. 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyotea Posted February 14 Author Share Posted February 14 Another fucking Valentine’s Day alone. fuck this. Happy capitalist holiday everyone, I guess. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goldfish Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 NO. We can be alone together (Author’s note: The emoji was ironic, if I ever use that emoji seriously, please throw a can of paint at me) Also I made cookies this morning so have a cookie MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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