Friend stuff, just to feel better ig

[824rin]

I have a friend I met 8 months ago (we'll call them E) and we immediately hit it off. We were energetic with each other and very friendly, lots of teasing even to where there was flirting hints. It seems that this year, that has changed completely and I do not know if it's just me overthinking it. It is mainly an online relationship because of the hour long drive, which makes it difficult enough as it is. E has a friend S that I also met back months ago and we were now a trio, give or take. Those two would call together and play games together without me, I felt left out a lot. Saying you're forgetful about messages (which are asking to hang out) and that you're closer to each other can only be dragged out so far for it to become an excuse. I started missing me and E's relationship and I talked to them, and a separate talk also for S. I let them know how I felt left out. It hasn't changed much and it's been about... 2 months now. I say "Oh I'll move past this" but then we get on call those times and all my worries fade into the laughter and time I spend with them. I cannot know if I look too much into it, or if the "I love you"s are real. 

If you've read this thank you for your time.

[Catsup]

8 hours ago, 824rin said:

I have a friend I met 8 months ago (we'll call them E) and we immediately hit it off. We were energetic with each other and very friendly, lots of teasing even to where there was flirting hints. It seems that this year, that has changed completely and I do not know if it's just me overthinking it. It is mainly an online relationship because of the hour long drive, which makes it difficult enough as it is. E has a friend S that I also met back months ago and we were now a trio, give or take. Those two would call together and play games together without me, I felt left out a lot. Saying you're forgetful about messages (which are asking to hang out) and that you're closer to each other can only be dragged out so far for it to become an excuse. I started missing me and E's relationship and I talked to them, and a separate talk also for S. I let them know how I felt left out. It hasn't changed much and it's been about... 2 months now. I say "Oh I'll move past this" but then we get on call those times and all my worries fade into the laughter and time I spend with them. I cannot know if I look too much into it, or if the "I love you"s are real. 

If you've read this thank you for your time.

Hi there, I'm Catsup one of the support mentors here.  It sounds like the dynamic between you and E has changed a bit, and I think that can happen a lot in friendships.  It is a hard thing to manage sometimes when one person wants to keep in touch more than the other, but it's also very relatable.  Since you already talked to E about how you feel and nothing has changed, what do you think you should be doing to take care of yourself without the same closeness as before?

You relate very well to each other and it sounds to me like you are all great friends.  At the same time, there is no easy way to talk someone into being closer to you.  Do you feel you need to decease expectations around the friendship at this point?  Or is anything around the friendship simply not healthy for you, and might suggest you need to put in some distance yourself?

[824rin]

55 minutes ago, Catsup said:

Hi there, I'm Catsup one of the support mentors here.  It sounds like the dynamic between you and E has changed a bit, and I think that can happen a lot in friendships.  It is a hard thing to manage sometimes when one person wants to keep in touch more than the other, but it's also very relatable.  Since you already talked to E about how you feel and nothing has changed, what do you think you should be doing to take care of yourself without the same closeness as before?

You relate very well to each other and it sounds to me like you are all great friends.  At the same time, there is no easy way to talk someone into being closer to you.  Do you feel you need to decease expectations around the friendship at this point?  Or is anything around the friendship simply not healthy for you, and might suggest you need to put in some distance yourself?

Thank you for replying. Hi Catsup! I do sometimes feel the need to decrease my expectations for them, as they don't really meet current expectations often (Both E and S, in their own ways). Whenever I try to distance myself from them it seems that's when they notice things and start picking up on it, and then I feel bad. I don't want to end the friendship but if I could choose I'd be get closer with them if possible or try to work with myself to not get attached to these little things with them. Thanks for your time Catsup