Situationship

[Savanna_55]

I was talking with this guy who asked me to be his girlfriend so I said yes and I sent him a couple explicit photos. And he started asking things I didn’t feel comfortable with and I made it very clear to him. I told him I have boundaries that he needs to respect and he is really persistent about trying to get what he wants. And I’m afraid he’ll leak the photos but I don’t know if he saved them but I’m still scared. I want to block him but his parents left him at a young age and I feel bad but I don’t know what to do.

[Aurora]

7 hours ago, Savanna_55 said:

I was talking with this guy who asked me to be his girlfriend so I said yes and I sent him a couple explicit photos. And he started asking things I didn’t feel comfortable with and I made it very clear to him. I told him I have boundaries that he needs to respect and he is really persistent about trying to get what he wants. And I’m afraid he’ll leak the photos but I don’t know if he saved them but I’m still scared. I want to block him but his parents left him at a young age and I feel bad but I don’t know what to do.

Hi @Savanna_55, I noticed that you are new here so I wanted to start off by welcoming you to the Community. I'm really glad you found us and it's lovely to have you here . I'm Aurora and I am one of the support mentors here. I give support and advice to those who reach out to us. If you would prefer to talk about this in confidence or you would like to talk about anything else confidentially, then you can send us a confidential support request. Just click on the confidential support tab at the top of the page (next to blogs), send us a message and one of the support mentors will get back to you. 

I wanted to start off by thanking you for opening up about what's been going on for you. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation with a guy and I am sorry you are having to experience this. I think it's great that you know what you do and you don't feel comfortable with and that you have been communicating this to him. I know it's not always an easy thing to do. What's not OK is that he isn't respecting your boundaries. I also think that trust is really important in a healthy relationship and it doesn't sound to me like you trust him. Is that right?

I get the impression that you are a very caring person. You mentioned that you feel bad, that his parents left him at a young age and that's why you don't know if you should block him. However, I think your own wellbeing needs to take priority here and if someone can't respect your boundaries then it might be a good idea to distance yourself from them. What do you think? You mentioned that you're afraid that he will leak the photos and I would imagine this might also be stopping you from blocking him. Is that right? Do you mind me asking how old you are and how old he is? The reason I am asking is so I can make sure I can give you the right support. There are a couple of online tools available, that can help you to stop the online sharing of your explicit photos but it will depend on what age you are as to which tool you can use. We're here for you and we can support you with this. 

[Savanna_55]

I’m 15 and he’s 16. At the beginning I trusted him. Now not so much it was like he hit a switch and just flipped from respecting my boundaries to trying to cross them. And I don’t know what to expect from him anymore. And yes part of the reason I am afraid to block him is because of the photos.

[Aurora]

On 5/26/2023 at 1:52 PM, Savanna_55 said:

I’m 15 and he’s 16. At the beginning I trusted him. Now not so much it was like he hit a switch and just flipped from respecting my boundaries to trying to cross them. And I don’t know what to expect from him anymore. And yes part of the reason I am afraid to block him is because of the photos.

Thank you for letting me know how old you both are. I'm sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to you. I'm not online over the weekend. 

There is a online tool that you might find helpful It's a free service that can remove or help stop the online sharing of nude images or videos for under 18 year olds. You can stay anonymous whilst using it and you don't have to send your videos or images to anyone. You can find it here:  https://takeitdown.ncmec.org

I hope it is helpful. If you decide to use this tool and you know, that he won't be able to leak the photos, would that make a difference to how you feel about blocking him? 

Also, do you mind me asking, what platform you've been using to communicate with him? And did you ever feel like he was threatening or intimidating you? The reason why I am asking this is because we might be able to help you have his account removed (if you would like us to) if you felt threatened or intimidated by him. 

How are you feeling about everything? Please know we're here for you. 

[Savanna_55]

I did feel intimidated and threatened by the way he was starting to act and things he would say. I was communicating with him through instagram. And the solution does help me feel better about blocking him.

[Aurora]

12 hours ago, Savanna_55 said:

I did feel intimidated and threatened by the way he was starting to act and things he would say. I was communicating with him through instagram. And the solution does help me feel better about blocking him.

I'm glad to hear you feel a bit better about blocking him. You're not alone with this - we are here for you!

Do you mind me asking if you have already reported him to Instagram? Don't worry if not. We can help you with this if you like. We are Trusted Flaggers, which means that we work closely with the senior moderation teams at most of the leading social network sites, including Instagram. If you would like us to report his account, you can either use our reporting tool https://www.ditchthelabel.org/report/  or send an email to support@ditchthelabel.org. We would need a link to your account and theirs with screenshots of the conversation where they threaten you. Please make sure you block out any of the nude content when you send this over. Thank you.