I think I might be in love with my friend

[AncientHistoryBook]

So my friend and I have been friends for 3 years now and have been happy just friends. Recently we started holding hands more often, and now when we see each other we hug and hold hands regularly. We talk more and actually spend time together after school (which annoyingly none of my other friends can do). I think about her all the time. I think I might be bi but I don't know, and I think if I started a relationship with her I would be able to figure it out. But I don't know if she's bi or lesbian. And I don't want to ruin our friendship. What do I do?

[Willow]

Hey AncientHistoryBook!

 

Oh man.. it can be difficult to gauge whether a friendship has potential to be "more", especially when there's so much physical affection!

 

She might be trying to figure out the exact same thing... Does she know you might consider yourself bi? Maybe that's the way to start the conversation. You two have known each other for so long. A lot of the attraction might be more about the familiarity and comfort around her-- rather than you being drawn to the female gender (though, I don't know about the variety of people you find attraction to).

 

If you asked her to be in a relationship with you (and she said yes), what parts of your interaction would change, do you think, besides exploring the more physical side? It seems like you spend a lot of time with each other, already.

 

I have a feeling it won't 'ruin' your friendship if you shared that you're "bi-curious" (if that phrase sounds right), and that you're curious about what it would be like to date/be more physical with her. 3 years is a long time.. and seems to have built a strong friendship. Honesty is key to a healthy friendship, I believe.. and you trusting her with this knowledge is a huge opportunity to strengthen the friendship!

 

-willow