Bi curious?

[Niff]

I'm a little confused about my sexuality. Have been bi-curious for a while.

I'm in a hetero relationship since 2 years now.

 

I feel like I behave in and assume different roles around women I perceive as attractive and traditionally feminine.

I tend to be more subtle and held back, sometimes protective of them.

 

And around straight males, I tend to assume a more feminine role.

My current boyfriend is the first guy who's made me feel traditionally feminine and appealing in that role.

 

But I can't help but wonder if I'd be the same with a woman. I want to try and understand this more.

Truthfully, I've never been in a situation where I was able to date a woman so I wouldn't know.

 

Anyone want to help me figure this out?

[Denna]

I'm bi too, but I've been in a hetero relationship with my boyfriend since we were very young, and I've never really explored that side of my sexuality. It is definitely something that I've had to come to terms with over time.

 

In some ways, people could argue that I'm missing out having not explored that side of me - but on the flip side, I'm so happy with my boyfriend and I know there's loads of people I'll never be with (not just girls, you know - there are many different people who I am attracted to but won't ever be with), but it's worth it, because my relationship gives me everything I need, and I want to be with my boyfriend permanently.

 

I sometimes think that we're encouraged to define ourselves by our sexuality - especially those of us that aren't hetero. In the end, I've made the conscious decision not to define myself by it, when in reality it's only a small part of me, and this has really helped me personally to get over the thought that I'll never know what I'm like in a relationship with a girl.

 

I totally understand though, if you are feeling the need to explore that side of yourself. If you love your boyfriend it might be worth talking to him about how you feel? I know it helped me. It's a big decision if you have to break up a loving relationship to explore that part of your sexuality so you definitely need to weigh up the pros and cons.

[Niff]

Aw man. It's nice connecting with others who feel like this. I met my boyfriend on tinder, since that was the easiest way to meet bi girls in my uni campus.

And then I really fell hard for him so I'm pretty happy in this relationship as of now.

I don't feel the need to explore this side of me right now. But I just wonder sometimes I guess.

If there was any other way of knowing, without actually going out there and dating someone, I'd be happy to do that. But I guess there isn't. Haha.

[Denna]

Haha - ditto!

[Willow]

Hey there!

 

Guys and girls bring out different sides of me, too! I like to look at it as masucline vs. feminine energies bring out different sides (vs. guy/girl) cuz we all land differently on the masculine/feminine spectrum. I land pretty much in the middle, though slightly more feminine. People who are more feminine than be bring out a nurturing and careful (more masculine) side, and I like when masculine energy can nurture me in my most feminine energy.

 

What I have found, in regards to attraction, is that if I have a safe place to acknowledge it, then I don't feel burdened by it. Fantasies and overthinking can get out of control... It would be nice with your boyfriends, if you could share attraction when it comes up. It doesn't mean you'll do anything about it (that's a different conversation, around what commitment looks like in the relationship), but feeling safe to share is important! We're always going to have people we're attracted to-- it's what we do with that information that is a game changer.

 

I think the desire to explore all of your sexuality is completely healthy. You don't want to live your life in regret.. but communication with partners you have is really really crucial.

 

So thankful we can have conversations like this on Community!

 

-willow