I like one of my friends, shes the same sex as me, should i just try to forget about it?

[AIexis]

Well ive liked her throughout 4 years, and i just push my feelings to the back of my head and try to forget about it, but its been a struggle to keep that wall up. And im also pretty sure she doesnt like me back, sees me as a friend, as i should also see her. Should i just stay put as a friend, back away from her, or what? I dont want to hurt her in any manner

[luna_]

The same thing is happening to me. I like one of my best friends of the same sex, but didn’t think she liked me back. I also pushed it to the back of my mind. Till one day we were talking and I asked her about her sexuality cause I told her I was bisexual. She said she was too and that she liked someone who we are both very close too. I never told her I liked her, but I still tried to see if she liked me. 

if you really want to find out, just ask questions that aren’t/are obvious depending on how you feel and never push down who you really are. It’s going to be okay. 

[AIexis]

Thank you, you answer helps so much. Now i just have to figure out extremely indirect questions ;) but really, thank you

[luna_]

Well, I’m glad to help :)

 

[Luie]

Heyy @alexis, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. I see that you're new to our platform and I wanted to say a massive welcome! Super awesome having you join our community. You can start conversations like this or even join other topics on the forums option. We also offer one to one support if you'd prefer that, if you click on 'Confidential Support' in the top bar next to blogs, you can send a request and one of the support mentors will get back to you. 

[Luie]

On 4/14/2023 at 2:02 AM, AIexis said:

Well ive liked her throughout 4 years, and i just push my feelings to the back of my head and try to forget about it, but its been a struggle to keep that wall up. And im also pretty sure she doesnt like me back, sees me as a friend, as i should also see her. Should i just stay put as a friend, back away from her, or what? I dont want to hurt her in any manner

 

Heyy @alexis, It sounds to me like you have developed strong feelings for your friend over a long period of time, but you also understand and respect her current relationship. It's important to prioritize your own feelings and well-being, but also to respect your friend's boundaries and her relationship. I do think that backing away from her entirely may not be necessary, but you may want to take some space and give yourself time to process your feelings. This could mean spending less time with her, focusing on other friendships or activities, and giving yourself time to reflect on your feelings and what you want moving forward. It's also important to remember that it's okay to have feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same way. It can be painful, but it's a normal part of life and it doesn't have to damage your friendship. With time, you may find that your feelings for her lessen or even go away completely. How does all this sound to you?

@luna_ thanks for sharing your experience as well, it does sound super helpful to get some answers.